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I'm afraid to go to school after the holidays. The child is afraid of school

under pressure

Who does not know the aching feeling: the teacher is moving around the classroom, coming to your desk and ... stops! The soul goes to the heels, the hands get cold, time stops. And it's not that from time immemorial studying proccess organized in such a way that the teacher can do everything: demand, evaluate, scold, call the parents, and the student - nothing, except to study well. The trouble is that many teachers use “non-standard” methods of “pedagogical influence” in their practice. For example, collective punishment. Petrov did not learn the lesson - the teacher screams. But not only on Petrov, but on the whole class: everyone should feel guilty! It is not surprising if at such a moment even excellent students begin to bite their lips with excitement. For another teacher, the main weapon is irony. It always hits the sickest. Therefore, when the glance stops at the student, he is all pressed into the desk, dreaming of quickly dissolving and becoming invisible.

What to do if the child is afraid to go to school because of a particular teacher? Try to be the first to take a step forward, tell the teacher about your trouble. Maybe he doesn't attach special significance its ironic tone and does not suggest what effect it has on the child. Always make direct contact with the teacher. The teacher will either help to cope with the problem, or will be indifferent (hostile) to your frankness. In any case, such communication will allow you to look at what is happening from a different angle, to better understand the situation in which the child finds himself.

Psychological pressure gives rise to a huge variety of fears: before the inevitable need to answer, before the danger of looking ridiculous in the eyes of your classmates, before the mark.

It is incomprehensible: after all, the mark is just a number, which, as a rule, does not mean anything. But it is she who has magical powers: fearing to get a deuce, children do not want to go to school, because of deuces, many parents become enemies for their own child.

Today, fortunately, there are schools that have given up grades altogether. Do you think children in such schools study worse, try less? Nothing like this! It’s just that parents and children themselves, free from fear of digital, begin to understand: the point of studying is not to earn more good grades, but to learn new things and work on your shortcomings.

I leaf through the diary of a sixth grader: “Comrade parents! Not done homework. Take action!”, “ Test– 2”, “Disgraceful behavior!” Does this boy love his school if no one here loves him? Perhaps he is in no hurry to show his diary to his parents. Hides it, lies, gets out. Fear became part of him. He is always between two fires - school and home. How to help him get out of the vicious circle? Be patient. Let there be no “fire” at least at home. And, despite the fiery appeals that sound from the diary, become an ally of your child. In any situation, in case of any failure, he has the right to count on your support and help.

The modern school has a whole "remote control" for putting pressure on the child and his parents. There are buttons here “threat of expulsion”, “division into weak and strong”, “additional exams” - but you never know how many similar “buttons” can be invented! Don't let yourself be drawn into this game. Always put the interests of the child first.

Enemy number one is boredom

How do children feel when they go to school for the first time? Happy! They were promised a wonderful, bright, almost adult world! They become first-graders and wait with gambling inspiration: now the most interesting, long-awaited will begin. But it doesn't start and doesn't start. And every day the children are convinced: learning is boring. They consider themselves deceived (their parents shouldn't have drawn the perfect image!), so in high school enter with a feeling of deep disappointment. It is at this age that problems with discipline arise, buttons are placed on the chair for teachers, lessons are disrupted. In high school, there comes a time of sluggish apathy and total absenteeism.

To avoid such a sad prospect, often ask your child when he comes home from school:

What was interesting today?
If he immediately starts talking about some lesson or event, everything is in order. If he waves his hand hopelessly:
As always - nothing! is a serious alarm.

Some children are able to complete the tasks of teachers regardless of whether they are interested in it or not. They are just performers. But there are children for whom boredom is akin to torture. The longing in the eyes and the irresistible yawn are so clearly imprinted on their faces that they cannot help but irritate the teacher.

When the ceiling in my apartment began to shake, and the sounds of heavily falling objects interspersed with squeals, I knew: up there, they were doing their homework in mathematics.
- What is a fraction? – clearly heard from above. – Nu deli same finally, infection!
Neighbor Vita helped her son do his homework.
- I'm all on my nerves! she complained at the meeting, swallowing valerian. - My boyfriend is smart. Everywhere - on "4" and "5". As it comes to mathematics - it becomes dumb and that's it!
Maybe the teacher is bad? I timidly suggested.
Vita raised her eyebrows in surprise.
- Who cares?
And again the ceiling in my apartment is shaking...
But suddenly a week is quiet, another ...
To us new mathematician come! Vita said. - My Lenka now solves problems himself - you won’t tear it off!
War is over. Nothing is known about the victims. Maybe it's Lenkina nervous system, traumatized by constant scandals, or maybe a relationship with her mother that will never become as warm as before.

Is the child to blame if he is not interested in learning? I think parents are able to determine where their child is lazy, does not want to make an effort, and where he is simply bored. Do not scold him for what he is not guilty of. After all, he cannot find himself good teacher or explain to the bad one how to work. Creative people need an appropriate environment. Fortunately, now parents have the right to choose the school in which their child will study. Search before it's too late. Until your son has forgotten how to listen, until he has burning eyes and a sympathetic heart. Boredom kills it all.

Unhook my label!

Grandmother! I am an idiot! - Masha said, returning from school.
- Who told you that? Grandma threw up her hands.
- Chemistry teacher!
Tomorrow Masha will hear the same word from a physics teacher, then classmates will pick it up, and soon the girl herself will believe in it. Will begin to be shy to answer and be reluctant to go to school.

How diverse is the assortment of school labels: “hooligan”, “truant”, “weak”, “gray”, “loser” ... Such labels are not at all harmless. It used to be just Zhenya, but now it’s “difficult”. And Zhenya behaves accordingly, and everyone around him is biased. "Not! - say the teachers, - Petrov can not on "4". He can only on "2". No matter how hard Petrov tries, he cannot see higher than “3”. Does he want to go to school after that? No one notices the talents hidden in Petrov. After all, the teachers of both Leo Tolstoy and Albert Einstein once missed the mark, hanging on them the label of gray threes.

There are no mediocre children, and no one knows the true abilities of their child better than parents. The best way struggle with a negative school label - to create conditions in which talent would be revealed. Find a circle, a sports section, a studio - let him choose what he wants to do. Then the child will know: I can’t study for five, but I can draw well (dance, play the violin). He will not be focused only on school and will stop worrying about the label sewn on him.

Me and hostile "others"

Ezhikov was afraid to go to school from the first day. When the teacher, getting acquainted with the class, said his name, the children laughed. And Ezhikov was so upset that he began to cry. That's how his reputation was built. The situation was aggravated by the fact that Yezhikov was really shivering all the time: either from a loud noise at recess, or from a blow on the shoulder. This, of course, could not escape the keen eyes of classmates. Ridicule, bullying became the boy's constant companions. At first, Ezhikov cried, begging his mother to leave him at home. Sometimes she agreed. But Yezhikov soon realized: one missed day does not change anything, because tomorrow will inevitably come and you will have to go to school again.

So five years passed. Trying to protect her son, the mother came to the class to “sort things out” with the offenders, quarreled with their parents. But that only hurt more. The mother was convinced that the reason lies in the evil children, who, as if by choice, were all in the same class. She achieved a transfer to another class. But fame ran ahead of Ezhikov, and here he was no better.

Frustrated, my mother turned to school psychologist. The specialist's diagnosis boiled down to the following: Alyosha Yezhikov has no experience of communicating with peers. Before school, the boy was brought up in sterile conditions, almost in a flask. He did not attend kindergarten. I usually walked hand in hand with my grandmother at a slow pace. It is not surprising that Ezhikov himself soon turned into a little old man.

The psychologist began to work with the boy, analyzing problem situations, which emerged from Yezhikov, suggesting how best to behave. Alyosha went through psychological training. Much has changed in him, but the burden of the “former Yezhikov” turned out to be too heavy. Therefore, the psychologist advised to transfer the boy to another school. He believed that Alyosha was ready for a decisive breakthrough.

Ezhikov met the first of September of his seventh grade at a new school. Hearing his name, the guys laughed. Alyosha was already familiar with this - he just grinned. Now he is confident in himself - there were no enemies around.

Broken relationships with classmates are a common reason why a child does not want to go to school. Try to call him to frankness and figure out: maybe he is inclined to oppose himself to the team? Or, having leadership ambitions, is he dissatisfied with his current position in the class? Maybe he had a conflict with a specific student or is oppressed by an offensive nickname? Analyze, discuss with the child everything that worries him. It is better to resolve any conflict within the school, considering the transition to another as an extreme way out, because where is the guarantee that the child will not encounter the old problem there too?

Remember little Pavlik, who, when he saw the school, immediately ran away from his mother home? Parents managed to find out the reason. Sobbing, Pavlik told them terrible secret: the teacher does not like him! No, she does not scream, does not swear - she simply does not like. It took considerable effort for the parents to explain to their son that the teacher should not love him, that in life there will still be many adults who will not love him. And there is nothing terrible in this, it is normal.
But the child's soul can not reconcile. She still wants love.

When to look for another school

1. In case of deliberate persecution of the child by the teacher.
2. If the school does not provide a full-fledged educational process(there are no teachers in one or more subjects, a weak level of teaching).
3. If the methods that are practiced in this school are contrary to your views on education and damage the psyche of your child.
3. In case of hostility from all classmates.
4. If high demands and overload are detrimental to the health of the child

(psychiatrist)

Didaskaleinophobia: symptoms, treatment, prevention

18.02.2015

Maria Barnikova

Modern children experience enormous psychological and physiological stress. Free access to a wide information space, acceleration and many other factors lead to the fact that the child and adolescent psyche cannot cope with numerous stressful situations, new information flows, etc. Against this background, neuroses arise, including various phobias. What is didaskaleinophobia and why does it appear […]

What is didaskaleinophobia

The word "phobia" is translated from Greek like "fear". Didaskaleinophobia - This is a phobia that only schoolchildren have. In fact, it is interpreted as "fear of school"

Parents do not always recognize the presence of this phobia in a child in time. Reluctance to have children school age attending an educational institution is usually interpreted as banal laziness or whim. However, in such cases, it is worth taking a closer look at the student, since anxiety-phobic disorders are becoming more and more relevant for young people - so to speak, mental pathologies are “getting younger”.

Another reason why adults ignore didaskaleinophobia is the erroneous belief that if a child really suffers from a mental disorder, then this manifests itself in all areas of life with the same intensity. But this is far from the case: phobias are associated with specific fears, and if the patient is isolated from the source of his psychological problems, then in general he behaves adequately.

On the contrary, if you ignore the presence of real psychological problems in a child for a long time, then later this will lead to more severe disorders, panic attacks and deep depression.

Symptoms of didaskaleinophobia

The fear of going to school is accompanied by a number of symptoms that are characteristic of manifestations of panic fear:

suffocation;
difficult breathing;
rapid and strong heartbeat;
intense sweating;
a feeling of trembling in the body;
muscle weakness and pre-fainting;
a feeling of discomfort in the chest, etc.

In addition, didaskaleinophobe may be disturbed by abdominal pain, nausea, dizziness, or a feeling of heaviness throughout the body.

But the most revealing symptom, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, is the fear of attacks of fear: the didaskaleinophobe is periodically tormented by preoccupation with its attacks. The older the child, the more likely it is that he will be afraid of going crazy because of his didaskaleinophobia. At the time of the attack, the child can show both increased activity (for example, in a panic, quickly walk from side to side), and, conversely, fall into a stupor. Such symptoms deserve attention, they can hardly be confused with the usual whim.

Why is there a fear of school?

Quite rarely, didaskaleinophobia appears as a result of a single psychological trauma inflicted on a child within the walls of a school. Most often, such neuroses develop as a result of a long, and, most importantly, regular impact of a number of negative factors on the child's psyche.

Examples of such factors:

constant bullying of classmates;
banter and cruel jokes of schoolchildren;
frequent death threats from peers or high school students;
exorbitant mental stress;
psychological pressure from one teacher or a number of teachers, etc.

There are also non-standard manifestations of didaskaleinophobia. For example, when a child is afraid that while he is at school, something terrible will happen to his family. Or when family problems so absorb the child that he begins to feel responsible for their solution, completely denying the need to attend school.

In any case, school is important stage socialization of the individual, therefore, it is necessary to fight against didaskaleinophobia.

How to deal with didaskaleinophobia

The child is not always able to fully explain the reasons that caused school fear. In most cases, he himself poorly understands the source of his fears. Therefore, one cannot do without the help of a qualified specialist.

A child psychologist in regular conversations will help the student to realize what factors gave rise to didaskaleinophobia. He will explain how you can deal with peer attacks, psychological pressure and other things that a teenager faces.

The psychologist will help to form the right attitude to everything that happens. If the cause of the phobia was fear for the health and well-being of the parents, then the child specialist will teach several techniques, using which the student will learn to feel comfortable outside the home, without parental supervision.

Along with psychological therapy, in some cases, light antidepressants, exercise therapy, or other physiotherapeutic measures are prescribed.

Prevention of didaskaleinophobia

Anxiety-phobic disorders are treatable, but such neuroses do not pass without a trace for a person and still cause a number of changes in his behavioral habits. Therefore, it is better to prevent neurotic disorders in the early stages.

As for didaskaleinophobia, it can begin to develop already in the primary grades. Parents often notice how children are naughty, they cannot join the work process. This is followed by the child's statements that he refuses to go to school or that the kid defiantly stops preparing for lessons. This is not a sign of a developing fear of school, but at such times the child is in dire need of special attention parents and support. Any irritated phrases, an increase in tone, a refusal to enter into the position of a baby, harsh statements about him only increase stress and tension, creating fertile ground for the development of neurosis.

Thus, the best prevention of childhood neurosis is confidential conversations with the child, attention, psychological support and a good microclimate in the family.

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Fear or excitement?

The word "afraid" for children does not always mean fear. So the child can name other sensations: “I don’t feel like it,” “I’m worried.” Help your son or daughter understand their feelings. “When it is really a school neurosis, its manifestations (depression or aggression) intensify during the period of study,” explains Tatyana Avdulova, associate professor of the department developmental psychology MSGU. - If the condition improves during the holidays, the child enthusiastically discusses different topics, but at the same time rejects everything connected with the school - this is an occasion to take a closer look at the situation.

Who is more afraid

The easiest way is to blame the problems on an overly picky teacher. It happens, of course, but more often the reasons are much deeper. It is important to pay attention to relationships at home. Anxiety, like a sprout that falls into prepared soil, develops when psychological protection is reduced. It is formed in the family.

Anxious "seedlings":

1. Constant parental dissatisfaction. Then the child is always waiting for trouble, self-doubt arises. Such children may be afraid of everything.

2. Excessive demands. Increased demands deprive the child of comfort: they do not understand him even in the family. There is a feeling of inferiority. Lyudmila Anshakova, psychologist: “Children are afraid of what they can be punished for. Nevertheless, there is a desire to break the ban, and a vicious circle is obtained. The image of parents at the school door or another authority figure (teacher) is intimidating. Specific fears (of closed doors) appear.”

3. Overprotection. Children who are not accustomed to making decisions on their own are not easy in a peer group.

Practice

1. If you are afraid to go to school

This often happens after holidays or illness. Invite your son or daughter to agree with one of their classmates and go to school together.

2. If you are afraid to raise your hand and go to the board

Often parents persuade the child not to be afraid and thereby fix the fear. “It makes more sense to focus on a specific reason: were you afraid because you didn’t learn well or didn’t know the answer for sure?” - comments Lyudmila Anshakova.

3. Fear of answering wrong

Learn to manage an anxious situation: "You have the opportunity to prepare (learn a lesson, think about how to behave)." Practice speaking in public more often. It's easier to speak in third person. Play as if it is not the child himself who speaks, but the one whom he portrays.

4. When excited

Explain to the children that it is a positive feeling that spurs action. Excitement can be moderated by simple tricks - take a deep breath, think over the first phrase.

5. Before the test

Do not exaggerate its meaning ("You need to sleep, because tomorrow is a test!"). Translate the event into the category of ordinary (“Such checks in life happen all the time”).

6. If the student is afraid of the teacher

There are, of course, cases when it is more reasonable to change the teacher, but first it makes sense to work with the situation. In any case, explain to the child the meaning school requirements: this is not the arbitrariness of the teacher, but the desire to fulfill general rules. Play different situations: the child becomes a teacher, and one of the parents becomes a student.

7. When insecure

Parental control should not be step-by-step, but final. For example, we ask you to buy bread, but we do not say which one and in which store.

8. With difficulties in communication

Invite classmates to visit, come up with interesting events. Try to ensure that in a new company or in a new place the child is not alone, but with one of the familiar people.

9. For all situations

Hardening, a clear daily routine, walks before bedtime help to cope with anxiety and fear. What if the fears intensify with the onset of darkness? “By the end of the day, physical fatigue accumulates, and then anxiety fades into the background,” explains psychologist Lyudmila Anshakova. - Parents are nearby, the body is already a little relaxed, nothing happened. As a result, fears are clouded.”

10. Anatomize fears

We talk or draw. The image can be caged, glossed over, or completely torn. The main thing is to bring emotions to the surface, not to keep them in yourself.

Fear of school and reluctance to go there is increasingly common in children. Why is the child afraid of school?

Not all, but many parents go through a child's fear of school. It seems that the child is waiting for the time when he goes to the first grade. This is how it prepares. And then - bam! - the desire disappears, and whims, tantrums, persuasion begin. This can happen both on the first day and on any other in between. school year.

Such a terrible school.

Finally, you and your child waited until September 1st. Festive mood, white blouses, jackets, bows, briefcases and bouquets are pleasing to the eye everywhere. The first line, the first lesson, the first acquaintances. Everything is better than you could imagine.

But a couple of days pass, and an unexpected thunderstorm breaks into your safe haven. The child begins to throw tantrums, does not want to go to school, and no persuasion works. It can be silent crying with pleading in the eyes and requests never to take him to such a terrible school again. And it can result in a loud riot with the release of emotions and hatred.

You don't recognize the child. You don't understand what could have happened. First, you try to find out the reasons from the first grader himself, but this does not always bear fruit. Then it's time to come for explanations to the teacher. Of course, there are times when something really happened at school. Then it's easier to decide. You can influence the child and calm him down. But what to do, for example, when there is no apparent reason?

Your child cannot point to specific reasons, and the teacher did not notice anything wrong. It is this situation that is usually very frustrating and tormenting. Where does fear come from and why is a child afraid to go to school? How to influence, help, correct, if you do not see what exactly needs to be corrected? The answer is given by Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology".

Feeling safe is the basis of life

It's no secret to anyone that the most leading role Parents play in a child's life. Their the internal state and behavior (especially of the mother) is fully reflected in the child as in a mirror. From birth to school, the child is one with his mother. If she is calm and confident in the future, does not suffer from fears, depression, bad conditions, then the child is completely sure that he is safe.

If the mother herself is in a bad state, even with a smile on her face, then it is useless to expect calmness and confidence from the child. If mom is nervous, then he is in danger. Most of the fears in children come from here.

Such stressful condition stops mental development child. No matter how you develop him in circles and sections, he will not be mentally ready for school. Taking him to a psychologist or a doctor is also useless. They will not be able to give what depends only on you. If there is no protection and peace at home, then at school it is even worse - there are no parents there.

And vice versa, if the child feels constant protection and calmness from his mother, he is sure that everything is fine. There is no tension, no stress - so there is no need to be afraid. Such a first grader is calm and balanced. He knows that the world is not hostile. Nothing threatens him, because mom is calm, even if she is not always there.

A child needs a sense of security and safety from the very first minute after birth and until graduation - at least! This is the most important condition, which practically guarantees that your child will be free from unreasonable fears. Less likely that the child will be afraid of school.

Ranking in the children's team

There is one more important condition for quick and painless adaptation to school - kindergarten. From the age of three, a person begins to perceive himself as part of a team. He needs to find his place in it - without the participation of parents. Most best age for this - from three to six. Just in time for kindergarten. Socialization must necessarily occur at this age.

Learning to interact with other children, understanding their role in society, the child will feel confident. By going to first grade, he will be fully adapted and mentally prepared. Naturally, with such a child there will be fewer problems at school or there will be none at all.

If your child has not attended kindergarten, then all socialization will begin in the first grade. This brings certain problems. The age has already been missed, the separation from the mother is even harder, and most of the children have already passed it. In such children, most often, there is a fear when they get into a large team, with which they have to be left alone.

But even if your child was not in kindergarten, is strongly attached to his mother and sharply felt the whole horror of change when going to first grade, he can and should be helped to go through the process of adaptation as gently as possible. And by accurately understanding the causes of problems, this is much easier to do.

The child is afraid of school: reasons

Fear in children does not appear from scratch. There are quite clear reasons for this, which arise depending on the properties of the child, given by nature. Training "Systemic Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan helps to figure out what properties are inherent in your child and what he may be afraid of.

We single out the main groups of reasons why a child may lose the desire to go to school, what he may be afraid of:

1. Fear of standing out, drawing attention to yourself, being different from everyone else and becoming an outcast because of this.

2. Fear of doing something wrong, not having time to finish; that he will not be praised, scolded, laughed at.

3. Fear that everyone is screaming and running around, there is no saving silence, to which he is used to at home.

Each group may include one fear or several at once. There are also children for whom all of the above is not a problem. If “something is wrong” is happening to your child, it’s time to figure out what it is.

It is also necessary to take into account that junior schoolchildren do not yet have sufficient cultural restrictions, they are often cruel towards a classmate who stands out in some way. It may be an unusual name, a flaw in appearance. Ridicule and neglect will inevitably lead to reluctance to go to school.

Fear of not being like everyone else

Nobody wants to stand out, to be different Small child, children want to be like everyone else so as not to become an outcast. But more often such fear is inherent in children with a visual vector. These babies are initially born with a sense of fear as a basic emotion. With proper development, fear for oneself develops into its opposite - love for others and sensuality. In the meantime, fear is natural; it is important to know how to respond to it.

Children with a visual vector, not feeling protected from their mother and not having socialization skills, are the first to become targets of harassment. The weaker physically, often cry, react emotionally to every little thing, they feel sorry for everyone and always.

They are afraid to go to school. At the same time, they are driven by the desire to communicate, to learn something new, to be in a team. They cannot imagine themselves without emotions and emotional connections. Therefore, the contradiction - both scary and desirable - is about them.

Such a first-grader needs to be supported in an effort to get a portion of communication, to learn something new, to see what he has not seen yet. You just need to encourage him to share something tasty with new friends and help those who need help in everything. He gets extraordinary pleasure from this process. It is laid down by nature, so it will be very useful. In addition, for a flock of children, a child who is able to share, help disinterestedly, will be the most desirable for communication. Others will be attracted to him, he will never be an outcast, and this applies to all children.

Fear of being laughed at

It happens only in children with the so-called anal vector. By nature, these are the most obedient children, attached to their mother, who is their ideal. They are slow, very thorough and do not like to switch from one thing to another without completing the first one. For them, praise is the most important thing. They tend to be offended and do not tolerate ridicule in their address. Again, with proper development, these qualities turn into the most positive ones.

Such a child should not be rushed. Never and in nothing. Give him time to finish everything. Then be sure to praise, but in moderation. It also cannot be overdone. He immediately senses the trick. In no case should you laugh at him and make fun of him if something does not work out. Otherwise, resentment can remain in memory for life. And the memory of these children is the best.

When going to school, a child with an anal vector should be encouraged for a special craving for knowledge, and it will definitely be if it develops without delay; praise for good grades, for the cleanliness and accuracy of the notebook. He especially needs support. You can tell him that it would be useful to explain the incomprehensible to his classmates, to help them understand something.

It would be very good to talk with the teacher so that he tries to pull and rush such a student less. Well, the constant support of parents is the most important thing for a leisurely child.

If loud noises at recess cause horror

In every team there is always a child (or even more than one) who is used to standing on the sidelines, does not participate in running around, and when screaming, covers his ears with his hands. This is the owner of the sound vector. He is often considered out of this world. But he's more than normal. It is he who may be afraid of school because of the noisy environment in the classroom.

A child with a sound vector is an introvert. He cannot stand large companies and loud noises. It is hard for him to get used to the school and join the team. Potentially, such a child is the most brilliant. He always tries to comprehend the meaning, hears sounds very subtly, often has an absolute ear for music, and is prone to science. He can become an outstanding scientist or musician.

But again, this is potential. To do this, he needs to be in silence. At least at home.

A child with a sound vector needs to create absolute silence at home. You can't yell at him or even raise your voice. It is quiet speech and whispers that he is best able to hear. In no case should you humiliate him with meanings, call him stupid or stupid, say that nothing will come of him. From this, the child loses the ability to hear, think, perceive. He withdraws into himself and disconnects from the world.

Psychology That Gets Results

Nowadays, most often children are born with several vectors. Accordingly, the properties are combined in them different. It is from this that one must proceed when preparing a child for school.

“... I now understand that she did not have a sense of security and safety, that all my visual fears directly affect her, and from birth. But at that time I found the only reason for this behavior. School! 1st grade stress will pass. On that I calmed down. At this time, my brother's wife began to listen to lectures on SVP and periodically hint that it would be nice for me to at least read, but it would be better to listen for myself and for the sake of the family, etc ...
... I tried to focus on the child, not really understanding how to do it. To begin with, I “implemented” another mandatory daily ritual. Before going to bed, I came to her room, lay down next to her, and we talked with her on all topics of interest to her. She liked it very much, she waited for it all evening. She shared with me some moments from school life, I told her about my ... "
Oksana M., lawyer, Penza

“... I have already felt the rapid and incredible changes in my son. About my results, and they are also there, I will write separately. I went through the training - and I saw the result in it! Only here, at the training, I realized how connected we are. It's amazing! He used to catch what Yuri gave me!
He suddenly calmed down. Stop asking if I'm okay. Make obsessive movements (rituals), cry for no reason. But most importantly, he began to perceive again educational information aurally!..
…And suddenly he began to prepare for the lessons…
And then he began to wear fives one after another. Seeing his condition, I decided not to give him the pills that we drank periodically during this time ...
... Today, when I write this review, there are three days left until the end of the semester, and my son is finishing it with an excellent student! .. "
Yuliana G., teacher at the music school, Ulyanovsk

The school year has begun and there is so much more to come. However, some parents have already encountered certain difficulties. For example, what if a child is afraid to go to school? Under no circumstances should this problem be ignored.

as this in the future may cause mental disorders in the child. Let's look at the reasons that cause a child to be afraid of school.

There are children who joyfully jump up in the morning and cheerfully run to the lessons. But there are many more who go without much enthusiasm. Sometimes everyday fees turn into real torment for both the child and his parents. In the eyes of the baby, horror and tears at the mere thought of going to school. In such cases we are talking about school phobia. Today, teachers, parents, and psychologists talk about this phenomenon with concern. But in our time it is difficult to imagine a normal child isolated from school life. How to find a way out of the impasse?

Experts note that accurate statistics that determine the scale of the phenomenon do not yet exist. For example, according to French experts, 2-3 percent of all students suffer from school phobia in a serious form. Psychologists emphasize that these children are not at all capricious and not lazy. Often, on the contrary, they can learn very well. But the very need to enter the school building seems to turn on some brakes.

Sometimes a poorly conscious panic begins, the school world causes a sharp rejection in a child or teenager. Uncontrollable anxiety can be accompanied by insomnia, pallor, palpitations, headache, and sometimes even a fever. Most often, school phobia is associated with some deeply hidden childhood fears. But the easiest way for a child is to direct the alarm to a specific object - the school.

Who's guilty?

Psychologists believe that in children, the rejection of the school world often becomes a reflection of the fear of separation. The child is subconsciously afraid to part with his mother for a long time, only with her he feels completely safe. Sometimes a school phobia masks a very specific fear of communicating with peers if they treat the child aggressively or, for example, laugh at him. Worry about possible failures at school is another reason for constant fear. Many parents are concerned about the future success of their offspring almost from the cradle. And children feel this very well. And then school life from the very beginning for them becomes a source of increased anxiety. Often the origins of the phobia are not related to the educational institution at all. Fears can reflect any circumstances that threaten the emotional security of the child: difficult relationships with parents, a family that is too closed, fenced off from the rest of the world, a divorce between mom and dad, etc.

Age of risk

Experts believe that exacerbation of school fears usually happens at the most key, transitional moments the lives of children and adolescents. The first period - 6-7 years, the beginning of the visit educational institution, the second - 10-11 years old, ending elementary school. And of course, the difficult teenage period of growing up - starting from the age of 14-15. The biggest risk is that school phobia, if not overcome, can give rise to the so-called social phobia: fear of communication, fear of public places. And in the end, already an adult can doom himself to social isolation.

After summer holidays

One of the causes of the phobia may be the return to school after long summer holidays or a change of school, as this is a rather serious test for a child. Here are the most simple rules to help avoid possible problems.

First of all, it is important to understand that adaptation should be gradual. If yesterday the child went to bed after midnight and woke up for dinner, then tomorrow it will be extremely difficult for him to get up at seven in the morning. The main requirement for an effective daily routine of a student is its stability. It is important that the child has breakfast, lunch and dinner on time, goes to bed and gets up at the same time, walks and does homework, and so on. Such a regime during the adaptation period is a certain signal for the body: “Everything is in order, the situation is standard, no surprises are expected, you can calm down.”

Parents should be prepared for the fact that in the first weeks and months of school, most likely, more of their control and help will be required for the child, even if he is no longer a first-grader. The participation of adults is necessary to comply with the routine of the day, in order to set the child up for homework, to deal with difficult moments in school, perhaps forgotten over the summer. It is necessary to praise more, support his efforts and efforts so that the student has enough time to sleep and walk in the fresh air. But if possible, it is better to postpone the beginning of visiting sections and circles for 2-4 weeks, allowing the child to first get involved in studies.

It is also important for parents to remember that not only first-graders at the beginning of the school year find themselves in a new environment for themselves. Older students are also forced to go through adaptation again when, for one reason or another, they find themselves in a new class and school.

Looking for another school?

Transferring a child to another school can be one of the cures for a phobia. Although, as a rule, this is not a cardinal solution, but only a displacement of the problem. True, sometimes such a measure can be the first step towards overcoming a school phobia.

In connection with the move or other circumstances, the child comes to an already established team, being the only newcomer there. The situation is different when it is fully formed new class, for example, when enrolling in a gymnasium or when completing specialized classes.

Stress in a student occurs in both situations, but the first option is more difficult for most children. Getting into the team of children who have been studying together for several years, the student one way or another turns out to be the object of increased attention. The child is worried about how new classmates will accept him, whether he will be able to find friends. In addition, she worries about how relations with teachers will develop, whether it will be too difficult to study in a new class.

When helping a child during this period, it is important to understand that excessive intervention can do more harm than good. And the older the child, the less obvious should be the intervention of parents. At first, various difficulties may arise in a new place, but it is important to allow the child to solve them on his own, and not to act as a constant intermediary between him and classmates or teachers.

At first, you need to be especially attentive to the child, ask him about school, about the guys, about the past day, sincerely be interested in his success. If you can see that the student is constantly depressed and talks about problems in relations with classmates, it may be necessary to intervene in the situation of parents and the class teacher.

The way out is in unity

There are a great many reasons for school fears and their extreme manifestation - phobias. Therefore, in each case, the main thing is to understand what exactly the child is afraid of. And then look for ways to help him. It is important not to dismiss the problem, not to leave the student alone with his fears and suffering. In some cases, the professional help of psychologists is required: either individual work or in groups. But family therapy is considered the most effective. To help the child make school life joyful, joint efforts of both parents and teachers are needed.