I fired an employee and I feel hard at heart. How to cope with being fired from your job

Work takes a serious place in life modern man... Belonging to a certain profession and social status, as well as having a permanent job, can increase self-esteem and self-confidence. At the same time, work is one of the main sources of stress for a person. He spends at work almost all the time, and professional skills need constant confirmation and improvement. An equally serious stress is finding a job or losing it.

Almost from the very beginning of labor activity, and even earlier - from the moment of admission to higher or secondary educational institution work turns into one of the main stressors for a person. Today, many people are afraid not to find a job in their specialty, but, having found it, they are afraid of losing it. Labor relations are built on fierce competition, which creates additional stress in the form of relationships with management and colleagues.

Higher education does not guarantee quick search work in the specialty. Moreover, many managers choose employees based on personal subjective criteria and the possibility of their compliance with an established team. Many employers have mutually exclusive requirements for potential candidates, for example, “work experience of 5 years or more” and “age not older than 25 years”. In Russia and the CIS countries, workers are at risk after 35-40, and even top managers of large companies and strong sales specialists are not insured against unemployment and stress.

Job loss occurs for various reasons - an economic crisis, staff layoffs, or a personal conflict with management. Even in large cities Job loss is a source of stress, not to mention small towns and small towns. Long and unsuccessful job searches are a common reason negative emotions, neuroses and depression.

Highlights at work include size wages, relationships with management and colleagues, overwork, too little or too much work. A rare employee just sits out time in the office "from call to call." Most are forced to leave workplace much later than 6 pm or 7 pm. The schedule also has a negative effect on the psyche, in which the employee can be called even late in the evening or at night.

No less serious - excess or lack of responsibilities. Some executives tend to overburden employees at no additional cost. Conversely, the lack of tasks also puts significant pressure on the employee's psyche - after all, the manager can at any time ask what has been done.

Even the most advanced and competent specialist may doubt his competence and not know whether his specialty will be in demand on the labor market and whether the current management will need it. Loss of a job is not always a voluntary initiative of an employee. Many fall prey to intrigue or mobbing from colleagues or management, and some are laid off.

For many, inviting a boss to talk and then announcing their resignation is a serious blow. A feeling of injustice, fear of the future, resentment - these are the negative emotions that a dismissed employee experiences. After all, the loss of a job for many means the loss of a source of funding for the family and a depressing feeling of timelessness and uncertainty.

Can being fired bring positive emotions?

Even if the employee is subconsciously ready to be fired and it is not a surprise to him, he experiences not the most positive ones. At this moment, the conviction in the discovery of new opportunities is not able to console a person - after all, he loses not only a source of livelihood, but also confidence in the future for himself and his family. Men experience job loss more acutely than women. This leads to dangerous consequences in the form of alcoholism or depression.

The dismissed employee needs to make some efforts so as not to "break down" and not go headlong into dependence. You should not immediately rush in search of a new job, since the applicant in stressful condition will not be attractive to a new employer. If a person “holds the blow” calmly, then he begins to see in his condition not only minuses, but also pluses. One of the positive aspects is more time with family and children and attention to those tasks that previously did not have enough time due to work.

The loss of a job is especially difficult for people over 40. Employers perceive them as insufficiently flexible and trained, moreover, the age of the employee can make the younger boss experience an inferiority complex. Nevertheless, many find a way out of the situation, getting a job where they will appreciate their knowledge and experience, or organizing their own business.

On the one hand, one should not delay the search for a new job, on the other hand, it is unlikely that an effective solution would be to start it in a depressed state. You need to give yourself some time to understand your expectations of the new job and to live through all the stages of mourning. Also, during this difficult period, it will be useful to work with a psychologist.

Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd / Rusmediabank.ru

Of course, being fired is the most unpleasant thing, but the right behavior can help you reach those heights that you might not have dared to think about in your old place. Remember - you can always turn everything in your favor. The vision of a situation can change dramatically depending on the angle from which you look at it.

What to do?

The most important thing is not to succumb to the emerging negative emotions. Of course, it will be unpleasant, humiliating, insulting and even scary - but do not let all this swallow you, otherwise depression may attack you. Negative emotions affect a person so badly that often after depression they really fall ill. A desperate situations does not happen, therefore - forward to new beginnings! Who knows - maybe the old has already outlived its own and it's time to develop further, to achieve more?

Isn't it time to think?

Have you ever accidentally caught yourself thinking that it would be nice to change jobs? If what you have been doing is not enjoyable, is this your chance to find your purpose?

By the way, are you already tired of working, working and seeing nothing but work? Pause, reflect on your life. Remember what you have always wanted. Did you go that way? If not, you have the opportunity to fix it! Relax, relieve stress, decide what you would like to do now, and then start looking for a new job. At the same time, the most important condition is not to feel sorry for yourself, not to cry about what you have lost and not to delay with. It is pleasant to rest, but it is addictive, so as soon as you have restored your strength and fighting spirit, start acting.

By the way, why not think about starting your own business? Sounds tempting? Or maybe you've dreamed about it before? Then, after being fired, you can completely and completely devote yourself to your own brainchild. In the end what could be better than that to work for yourself?

Have you learned your lesson?

This is another side of the layoff. Lesson. Yes, you heard right! Of course, it is quite possible that you were fired completely undeservedly, but all the same, you will have to endure something instructive. Somewhere you are wrong. Analyze your work, complaints against you, relationships with management and colleagues. Objectively evaluate everything, it's not for nothing that they say that there is no smoke without fire. If it turns out that the problem is that you did not cope with the duties as it should be, think about continuing education or retraining courses, study foreign language... In short, take care of yourself. And new skills will appear, and they will increase, and you will get the opportunity to apply for a higher position.
He who seeks finds!

To find a job you will need:

;
transmittal letter.

Post your resume on the Internet, but do not be limited to a passive position, do not wait for a call. Contact the employment service, go, look, call, visit. Don't be afraid to ask why you got fired. Prepare a dignified and truthful answer. The latter, by the way, is a prerequisite, because you can be checked by calling the old place of work.

Financial crisis?

What if there is no work yet, but the money is gone? Reduce costs by matching desires and possibilities, and discard all unnecessary things. Find a part-time job as a freelance translator, journalist. Who knows, maybe you will like the free schedule so much that you will realize that you have found yourself. If not, you will earn extra money until a permanent job appears.
Or maybe you have an interesting hobby? It, too, can be turned into a source of income, and even realize oneself in it.

Remember:

Take care of yourself! Do not get addicted to junk food, do not quit playing sports. should become daily and habitual! Keep fit for new beginnings!

If you feel sad or other negative emotions, remember all your achievements, those moments when you were happy with yourself.

Do not self-flagellate, it will only lead to a decrease in self-esteem and depression. See things realistically, just forgive yourself for what you were wrong about and don't do it again.

Tell those around you why you got fired. It's better than having the wrong rumor reach them.

Do not hesitate to take advantage of someone's protection, do not refuse help. Feel free to talk to people about your job search. The more friends you know about what is happening, the faster you will cope with the situation!

Do not limit yourself to searching only in one field of activity. Do not be afraid to try something new - maybe you will reach great heights there.

When you receive rejections, do not be discouraged and do not give up. The reason may not be in you, but in the fact that on this moment new employees are not required for this firm. Never forget to leave your resume - who knows, maybe tomorrow someone will decide to quit and immediately remember you?

The current situation on the labor market is far from ideal - in many companies they are not only reducing plans for the selection of new employees, but also reducing staff. Not in all cases, dismissals are carried out in compliance with all the nuances of labor legislation. We were prompted to write this article by a real situation - one of the victims of such a dismissal told about her story. After she submitted the report for the first quarter, she was informed that she was fired, forced to write a statement and literally "squeezed" from her workplace. On the same evening, an ambulance was called for her - her heart ached, her blood pressure rose. Several days have passed - health problems continue. We decided to figure out who can get into such a situation and what needs to be done next.

There are several reasons why you may be the victim of a sudden layoff:

1. Victim of contraction... The most common option at the present time. Business in the company is not going very well, the management decides to cut some of the staff, and divide its functions between the rest. There is a chance to talk to the management and convince, if not of indispensability, then of the postponement of dismissal - but it is scanty. You still have to look for work.
2. Someone else is being tagged in your place... It may not necessarily be someone's relative or acquaintance. Management may have felt that in a crisis you are less effective than the other specialist. You are being sacrificed to the strategic interests of the company. The situation is hopeless, it is better to negotiate with the management on your own benefits in exchange for your pliability - or a longer period of "leaving" the post, or for severance pay. If you managed to bargain, use the situation to the fullest for further employment. And don't forget to maintain normal relationships with colleagues and management.
3. The sacrifice of the leader... There are two subspecies here. In the first case, you and your manager simply have mutual (or one-sided - and you don't even know about it) personal hostility. The leader has to put up with you as long as the company needs you (due to the sympathy of the highest management, personal high qualifications or key participation in important project). As soon as circumstances change, you are fired. In the second case, the leader changes - and a new one comes with his team. And this new team has no place for you.
4. You don't fit in with the current situation... Perhaps the company is changing faster than you, it is difficult for you to work in constant change. Or, on the contrary, you are sure that you know everything better than anyone else and have ceased to value your work - you have become defiantly careless and this annoys the management. You started to ignore important areas of work and do not notice it. The result is the same - they part with you.

What if you are the victim of a layoff? If one morning, having come to work, instead of the usual greeting, you hear from the boss an indistinct request to enter the office, where you are presented with the fact: “You are fired!”. Even if the boss delicately tried to convey the "verdict", and you are not a naive young lady, the stress and negative emotions caused by such a resignation are guaranteed. It is especially unpleasant when there are no apparent reasons for dismissal, and you are forced to write a letter of resignation.

So, what you need to do to survive this unpleasant event:

1. Do not despair... If you have been fired from your job, do not despair, collect your thoughts and think that this is just a job, and life does not end there. You don't have to narrow your whole life down to the size of a desk. Don't get into deep thought about what you did wrong. Such questions will arise in you, but do not let them occupy all your thoughts. This situation is already over, and you are not yet ready to draw conclusions for the future. Unusual endurance, optimism, calmness under the most difficult circumstances - all those qualities that will help you survive being fired from work.
2. Walk away with dignity... There is no need to throw out emotions on colleagues or, even worse, throw a tantrum with a scandal for the management. Act as if you yourself decided to quit. Thank your colleagues for their cooperation, put documents and workplace in order.
3. Don't consider yourself a failure... Getting fired doesn't make you a failure or a bad specialist. Perhaps this happened for reasons beyond your control. In order not to unsettle yourself and not engage in self-flagellation, instead of self-accusation, remember your merits, victories and achievements. Add to this the list of your accomplishments that stayed with you even after losing your job: family, children, friends, hobbies and experiences. You will see that you have not lost everything, but only a part (perhaps not the best) of your life, which you will replace with a new one.
4. Find an opportunity to take time for yourself... After you have lost your job, you do not need to immediately look for a new one. Don't go to interviews with a suffering person or beg to hire you. Relax, devote time and attention to loved ones, take care of your own health. In no case go on about emotions and do not drown your problem in alcohol.

Even if you are unemployed, try to keep the same daily routine as at work. Only " work time»Needs to be spent on trying to get a new job. To make a new job more successful, you need to work on mistakes, no matter how painful it may be. Try to figure out what depended on you to get fired and what didn't. If you find that you partly gave the reason for the layoff - you weren't doing enough, you were late, and so on - try not to repeat it at your new job.

In this article, we'll talk about how to cope with being fired from your job. Almost every person has faced this problem at least once in their life. And coping with this is not always easy, especially if you liked the job and you put a lot of effort into it. The approaching retirement age can complicate matters. So what to do and how not to allow yourself to give up?

Reasons for dismissal from work

Let's list those specialists who can get into the risk zone:

• Workers who stop there, who do not improve their skills, do not improve their skills.
• The results of the employee's activities have not been noticed by anyone.
• People who believe that they do not depend on anyone.
• Workers who surround themselves with henchmen and ignore constructive criticism.
• People who don't get along well with colleagues.
• Those who refuse to mention their career achievements.

Consequences of dismissal

What can you expect if you get fired from your job? The first thing you will experience is shock and stress. The familiar world around a person collapses, acquaintances remain in the past, self-esteem drops sharply. Often a large number of layoffs occur in crisis situations, at a time when the management seeks to keep only the most valuable and promising employees. And this leads to the fact that a person who finds himself in such a situation, thoughts begin to creep into his head that he is the worst of all, is unable to achieve anything in life, etc.

You can't get hung up on this, you need to get distracted from gloomy thoughts. Think about the fact that everything is relative, because someone is better at one, someone is better at another. Do not forget that this failure can be the beginning of something new.

Now let's take a closer look at two great ways to cope with depression and start looking for a new job.

The first way

How to deal with the stress of being fired? Psychologists have long proven that the emotional state of a fired person is comparable to the feelings that people experience after betrayal or divorce. Therefore, the consequences, especially for those with a weak psyche, can be the most severe, ranging from depression and insomnia to nervous breakdowns. To survive a layoff and stay healthy, you need to follow the tips below.

Where to begin? Step one

How to survive being fired from your job? First, you need to go through the main stages of stress, of which there are four:

• The phase of denial. A state of shock when it is very difficult to realize what is happening around.
• Anger phase. The first emotion appears - aggression. A person is constantly in a state of irritation, angry with loved ones and relatives, himself, fate, life.
• Bargaining phase. Trying to get back to work by doing something meaningful. For example, bring a new client or prepare a report.
• Depression phase. The person realizes that all attempts to return are in vain.

Step two

We continue to describe the algorithm of how to survive being fired from work. So we stopped at the depression stage. You can't drive your negative emotions inside oneself, one must learn to throw them out. To do this, you need to find a suitable method. A gym is not bad for this purpose. Practice with a punching bag, representing in its place the boss or ill-wisher, arrange a marathon run, splashing out aggression in motion.

Do not in any way protect yourself from loved ones. Tell your friends about your experience. After you talk it out, it will get much easier. Gradually, the circumstances of the dismissal will begin to be remembered less and less clearly, and emotions will dull.

Step three

Remember, being fired from your job is not the end of the world, because life goes on. However, the negative stages of stress can drag on for several weeks. Don't let them stay with you for long. You can use a special psychological trick, which is called "Alarm". Mentally, you need to “wind up” the internal clock for a certain day. When the "alarm clock rings", begin to actively act.

If you have managed to get through the phase of negative emotions, then get ready for the stage of acceptance. During this period, you will be able to analyze your behavior and understand what caused the dismissal. This will allow you to comprehend what is happening and help you start to act further.

You need to make a list of the positives that the dismissal has brought to your life. For example, you got rid of the nagging of your boss or co-workers' nagging.

Step four

You were fired from your job. What to do? Get rid of the emotions and analyze the written reasons for dismissal point by point. Don't take things like a crisis, downsizing, a mischievous boss, etc., seriously. Be honest with yourself, and you may realize that you unknowingly wanted to quit this job for a long time.

Then think about which profession is closer to you and what you would really like to do. On a piece of paper, write down the knowledge and skills required for the chosen job. Check the skills you don't know and start filling in educational gaps.

Step five

There are many ways to cope with being fired. The advice of a psychologist convinces of one thing - as soon as the stress has passed and it became clear what you want next, you need to start looking for a new job. And here one cannot be limited to one way. You need to use everything possible - ads, websites, acquaintances, employment services, etc.

During your searches, try to maintain the same daily routine as before you quit - stay awake, have breakfast and dinner, and do your business at the same time. This will help keep yourself in good shape and not relax. Treat your search for a new duty station like an exam.

Method two: don't forget the formalities

Consider another option for how to cope with being fired from your job. Depression is possible anyway. However, you can turn your attention a little to the formal side of the matter.

After the first emotional shock, thoughts will begin to appear that the dismissal will ruin your work book and put an end to your career. We need to drive away these ideas at once. Do not assume the role of supplicant and do not tremble in front of the director. You still have nothing to lose, so try to figure it out. Be sure to find out the reason for the dismissal. Do not forget about your rights and labor laws. You cannot be expelled outside the threshold without a livelihood. Don't let your employer cash in on this either.

Be sure to control your emotions. Don't let self-pity get the best of you, try to stay calm. During conversations with management, do not threaten or become personal. The discussion should be conducted in strictly business language. Study in advance the TC (dismissal and everything related to it, in particular) and select the paragraphs of the law to which you will refer. Behave with dignity. Bad relationship with a former employer can make it difficult to find a new job, as bosses may refuse to give recommendations.

Don't think of getting fired as the failure of your entire life. Try to take this as an opportunity to start over. In addition, in the old place, you acquired certain skills and experience that will be useful in later life.

Dismissal of a pensioner

How can a pensioner survive a dismissal? After all, people of this age are more vulnerable in a similar situation. Often retirees give a lot of energy to the company and stick to it with all their hearts. For them, work has long become an integral and very important part of life. Therefore, dealing with depression is much more difficult for them.

Were you fired from your job after retirement? What to do? Usually, retirees have many friends at work. Do not forget about them and fence yourself off. Support from loved ones can help. Remember that retirement is a great opportunity to live for your own pleasure. You have a lot of time to spend on yourself and your hobbies - walking more often, finding a hobby.

Psychologist's advice for retirees and people of pre-retirement age

The most terrible thing is to lose their place for those who have very little left before retirement. The reasons for leaving your job may vary, but care must be taken to ensure that they are legal.

By this time, a person accumulates vast experience, brings his skills to perfection and is well versed in his field, but employers prefer to hire young people. It is especially difficult for women in this situation.

At an older age, they no longer think about what area they want to work in, since everything has long been decided and it is too late to change anything. You need to analyze your skills and knowledge, and then determine the industry where they may be most in demand. You can find a suitable vacancy with the help of neighbors, acquaintances and even former colleagues. The latter are especially valuable in this regard, as they continue to rotate in the necessary professional circles.

You need to pay attention to your appearance. During the interview, you should be affable and confident. In this case, you need to be prepared for refusal. You can hear "no" many times, so there is no need to despair and fall into a blues. Try not to lose your fighting spirit and do not forget about the power of persuasion.

Today, the main requirement for a potential employee is the ability to work on a computer. Therefore, you will have to master this skill if you are applying for a good position.

TC: dismissal. The legislative framework

Any dismissal must be based on Article 80 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Be sure to read this law and read any amendments that have been made to it.

If the case is difficult, then it would be useful to contact a lawyer. You must make sure that everything is happening according to the law and the boss is not trying to deceive you by not paying the required compensation. In a stressful situation, people rarely think about the legal side of the case, since they are in a phase of denial or anger. And when emotions are dulled, then it is too late to demand something. If you yourself cannot figure out the legislative subtleties, ask your loved ones for help.

WikiHow works like a wiki, which means that many of our articles are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 15 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time.

Your boss invites you to the office, closes the door and says: "... we are not satisfied with the way you work in this position, so we made a decision to dismiss. Free up your workplace and get an account in the accounting department." How do you deal with this situation without losing your dignity?

Steps

Give yourself a minute (or five) to recover from the shock and collect your thoughts. Take a breath. If you feel like crying, please - this will not change the situation, but it may help you to better overcome it by splashing out your emotions.

Take the situation right. Your first impulse may be to think of yourself as a bad worker, a person, or a failure in general, but that’s just a voice of panic. Instead, tell yourself, "I did the wrong job for myself." This is important: the work is not to blame and you are not to blame, it was the combination of work and you that did not work. So don't be ashamed of the situation. There are millions of reasons why the job doesn't work out, and none of them is 100% your fault.

Don't try to change your mind. You may be tempted to ask for another chance, but you must resist it. The decision has been made and is almost always irrevocable. Begging will only weaken your ability to negotiate further.

Negotiate the terms of your termination. The employer does not want unnecessary problems, in particular, to earn a bad reputation. So here's what you can negotiate about:

• Agree on how the employer will be held accountable in the event of contacting him for a recommendation. The safest version of his answer: "Yes, he worked for us as an employee, but our organization has a policy of nondisclosure of performance evaluation."
• Ask for generous compensation. Demand payment of vacation and sick leave, as well as compensation that you think they can agree to - between one month and three months' salary. You may not be paid as much as you ask, but this a good start negotiations.
• Ask the employer to extend the VHI for a certain period.
• Ask for help finding a new job. Some employers offer the services of employment firms. If not, ask which organizations they could recommend for your job search. Perhaps they have information about vacancies.

1. Quit with dignity. Don't wait until the end of the working day - pack your things at the workplace and leave. If you are stopped by colleagues to say goodbye, thank them politely, but do not shake the walls with screams about what just happened to you. Never say anything bad about your boss or the company - burn all the bridges so that you don't get hurt.

   Tell your family immediately. Even if you are still in shock and shame, tell your family about what happened and discuss how you can handle it all together. Despite the fact that your family will also experience shock and unpleasant feelings, in the long run, it will be easier for you to start taking further actions together.

   Give yourself time to recover. You will be tempted to start looking for a new job right away, but you need to give yourself time to get over what happened, get rid of shame and panic, and start thinking clearly. Take a couple of weeks to spend with your family and concentrate on your future plans.

2. Realize that this is not the end of the road. Even though it can be difficult at times, you shouldn't think about the fact that your whole life has ended with the termination of your job. Begin to see the situation as a turning point on the road to change for the better. Of course, this is a difficult time, but it can give you new opportunities.

   • Take the time to figure out if you want to stay in the same line of work or if it's worth trying something different.
   • Your friends and coworkers may keep calling you for the first few days to see how you are doing. Refrain from talking to everyone. Let everyone know through one friend that you’re okay and that you’ve just taken some time off, and then call everyone back in the next few days, weeks, or months — no matter —.
   • Make sure that the termination is carried out in accordance with the terms of your employment contract and labor laws in general.
   • Be responsible. When you get home, cancel all but essential purchases and budget according to what you have available. Develop a financial plan. This will reduce stress levels and keep you from grabbing the first job you come across.
   • Sometimes dismissal compensation is given under certain conditions: you cannot discuss the reasons for the dismissal with anyone, you cannot discuss the terms of compensation, you cannot speak negatively about the company or its management, you cannot go to work for competitors, and so on. If you violate these conditions, compensation may be recovered from you back through the courts.
   • Get official written confirmation of the company's intentions.
   • As a rule, after a notice of dismissal, access to a personal computer is closed. Accordingly, (since you are reading this article, you have not been fired yet) today, coming to work:
     • Send to your personal email address all the personal information from your computer that you would like to keep after you leave: personal mail, examples of work materials, recipes from your colleagues - whatever. Don't send all this from your work address, go to your personal mail and send from there.
     • Make copies of all the files you want to keep for yourself (document templates, work materials, contacts) and take home.

   Warnings

   • Resist the urge to call colleagues and complain about the company and its management.
   • When you come home, do not try to pack your things and leave the city. Running away from problems only exacerbates the situation, and besides, moving to another city for no apparent reason is a red rag for employers. Better to update your resume and post it on relevant sites.