Emotional intelligence - what it consists of. Emotional Intelligence is the Key to Successful Interaction with Others Emotional Intelligence Fundamentals
Psychology and pedagogy
The 5 Pillars of Emotional Intelligence
To actively and effectively develop emotional intelligence First of all, you need to understand what this concept includes. In this material, we will analyze five categories of emotional intelligence, identify specific skills that can and should be trained, and also accompany all this with understandable examples.Emotional intelligence is no less important for the harmonious development of the child than ordinary intelligence. Our success in the future depends largely on the ability to understand and control our feelings, read the signals of other people and respond accordingly.
You know very well, based on examples of school life and work, how important it is to determine your mood in time, control fear, anger, sadness, communicate adequately with others, understand the feelings of students. But what exactly to develop? Enough has been said about emotional intelligence, not enough for the full picture. concrete examples from life and descriptions of skills.
Five categories of emotional intelligence (EQ)
No. 1. Self-awareness
It is the ability to recognize emotions, since they are the ones that "occur", splash out into the external world and are the basis of our psychological state. Developing self-awareness requires finding the keys to your true feelings. If you can evaluate your emotions, name them, then you will be able to manage them.Ninth-grader Kristina suddenly burst into tears during the break between Russian and chemistry. Classmates are trying to understand what caused the sharp deterioration in the condition.
Chris, are you sad? Zhenya sighs sympathetically.
- I don’t know, - the girl sobs.
- Maybe something hurts you? - the realist Masha is interested.
- No, nothing hurts me! - snarls through tears Christina.
- Well, what then? ..
It may turn out that this feeling has nothing to do with sadness, but directly with fear. The girl feels very insecure in chemistry, this time she did not have time to prepare for the lesson at all, and now she is ashamed of the missed opportunity, she is afraid that she will be asked - she will embarrass herself in front of the class and the teacher, and it's a shame that everything happened this way.
Methods of working with fear are completely different than with sadness. The ability to understand what exactly is wrong is the key to a successful fight against the causes of the phenomenon and their consequences.
The main elements of self-awareness:
- Emotional Consciousness. Your ability to recognize your own emotions and their manifestations-effects. For example, if you are scared, your palms begin to sweat, the temperature rises before a tantrum, if you feel insecure, you constantly wrinkle your hands, and when you are close to breaking loose and yelling at someone, frown your forehead and strain your cheekbones.
- Self confidence. Adequate self-esteem and understanding of their capabilities.
#2 Self-regulation
You are always in control of your emotions, even if you don't seem to be. No matter how strong the experiences are, you can extend or shorten their duration using some methods. Anger is "treated" by analyzing the situation, anxiety - by drawing up a plan, sadness - by the same review of the situation in a positive way, a walk, meditation.It would be worthwhile to teach our students and children that the fear of failure and displeasure cannot be overcome with the usual “There is such a word NECESSARY”. The order to pull yourself together does not solve the problem, it increases self-doubt.
It is much more useful to sit down, discuss everything in the format of active listening (we wrote about this in one of ) and propose a plan. You probably noticed for yourself that having a sheet with clearly defined action points in front of your eyes, the fear of the task gradually recedes. Is your child afraid of exams? Make a plan to prepare for them. You do not know how to approach the report? Divide the task into many smaller ones. Manage your emotions and be honest with yourself, understand why it is important for YOU to do this work. Can't write an article? The main thing is to overcome the "fear of a blank slate" - start writing down all the thoughts that come to your mind, draw up the structure of the future material.
The main elements of self-regulation:
- self control. Manage destructive impulses.
- Reliability. Maintain standards of honesty with yourself
- Conscientiousness. Take responsibility for your own work.
- adaptability. Quickly “be aware” of emotional changes and be flexible.
- Innovation. Be open to new ideas.
#3 Motivation
To motivate yourself for any achievement, you need clear goals and a positive attitude towards the task. All people have a different predisposition to the perception of reality - more or less positive, but a positive attitude can and should be learned. If you detect and “take on” negative thoughts as they arise, you can quickly reframe them in a more positive light, which will help you achieve your goals.- Mom, I don't want to learn all this nonsense! - Kolya goes on a cry and throws a notebook with social science definitions on the floor.
- What nonsense, son? - Raising her eyebrows, but not a notebook, mom asks.
- These are all the senates, councils, debits and credits ...
“Then don’t teach,” Elena Leonidovna calmly answers, “if you don’t need them.
- But they are needed ... - Nikolai exhales drawlingly.
- What are they for? - Mom asks, apparently incomprehensibly.
- Well, they are included in the tasks for the exam, then, I want to enter the university.
- Why go to university? - Mom reveals the idea.
- So that later I can work as a lawyer, as I wanted, and defend people who are not guilty.
- It turns out that definitions are the beginning of the path, even already the middle, because you are so good and have already learned so much, the path to your dream, Kolya, - Elena Leonidovna smiles, - I don’t force you, just understand if you want to yourself.
- Yes I want to.
If the teaching does not understand WHY he needs knowledge, he will objectively not be able to force himself to learn them, if there is no initial predisposition to study and absorb knowledge.
The main elements of motivation:
- Achievement. Your constant striving to improve or meet standards of excellence.
- Commitment. Alignment with the goals of the group or organization.
- Initiative. Get ready to act to the best of your ability.
- Optimism. Pursue the goal despite setbacks and difficulties.
#4 Outward Orientation (Partly Empathy)
The ability to recognize (rather than guess) how people feel and what state they are in is critical to success in life and career. The more you understand the feelings and signals of others, the better you control the signals you send yourself.A pedagogical story that will allow even elementary school students to discuss the topic of verbal and non-verbal signals:
Once left alone at home, Zhenya decided to help her mother wash the dishes and accidentally broke her mother's favorite cup. She felt very ashamed and felt sorry for her mother, Zhenya was upset, huddled in a corner between the sofa and the closet. Mom came, saw a broken cup, began to look for Zhenya, shouted: “You have no shame, no conscience, Zhenya! Not only did you break the cup, but you are also hiding, avoiding the answer. Zhenya burst into tears. And my mother got even more angry: “Oh, so you are still crying, are you still feeling sorry for yourself ?!”
What mistakes did mom make, and what mistakes did Zhenya make?
Essential elements
- outward orientation. If we're talking about adulthood is the ability to understand customer expectations and respond to their needs.
- Help others develop. You feel that other people also need to move and strengthen their abilities.
- Diversity. You can help different open up new possibilities for people. Example: As a teacher, you can work with both active and passive children, offering them material in different forms and communicating with them using different phrases and motivations.
- social awareness. It is also called political awareness. You are able to read emotional currents and read the "forces" within the group.
- Understanding others. The most understandable point is the ability to track the feelings behind the needs and desires of others. As in the case of Zhenya, who broke a cup and hid, not out of fear and the desire to "flee the scene", but out of shame, but could not express it.
#5 Social Skills
Developed interpersonal skills are tantamount to success in life and career.Yes, we teach our children that the key to a great career in the future is high marks and good knowledge, but remember your own environment: who is more successful - excellent students or three students? Sasha, who school years spent on textbooks and learned them inside and out, or Alyosha, who has always been a “good student”, but had a real talent for negotiating with people, knew how to win them over and made great friends? There are both examples in my environment. And Alyosha is really happy and much more successful.
The point is that in modern world each of us has access to theoretical knowledge. No need to memorize absolutely all the dates in the course of the history of Russia, they can always be viewed on the Internet. A completely different conversation is the understanding of cause-and-effect relationships, the development of critical thinking and the ability to argue one's point of view. Social skills become more important every year, because in a global economy, you must have the ability to understand, empathize and negotiate if you do not want to be “overboard”.
Most Important Social Skills
- Influence. Using effective persuasion tactics (
Emotional competence is important for people of all ages and occupations. It allows you to better navigate in life situations, determine native values, and achieve your goals. has a direct relationship with the level of personal effectiveness. Such a skill is not given with birth, it is the result of hard work on yourself and your habits.
- Content:
The concept of emotional intelligence
The concept itself appeared at the end of the 20th century thanks to J. Meyer and P. Salovey, who defined it as understanding and managing your own emotions as well as other people's emotions. This is one of the mental skills, which is among others. personal qualities person.
In a broad sense, this is the ability to process incoming information contained in emotions and take actions based on the information received. He is integral part general concept social intelligence.
Main components
Managing oneself and others can be represented as a pyramid, the foundation of which is self-awareness, and at the top is the possession of the general situation, the ability to turn it in the right direction. translational movement to the top is the personal growth of a person.
self-awareness
Self-awareness is necessary to analyze your own emotions. You need to learn to identify the relationship between the manifestation of your moods and the consequences, how this or that behavior affects others. Understanding yourself is the first step to understanding others and the basis for managing yourself.
Emotions can be positive and negative. Our internal state directly affects the perception of the world around us, forming an appropriate way of thinking. According to our thoughts, we begin to act. Keeping high emotional background, you can easily and quickly resolve issues, charging others with positive energy. You also need to be able to work with negative feelings, work through them and let them go, otherwise neglected negative thoughts can cause diseases.
self-motivation
A special attitude helps to start moving towards goals. Correctly established values do not require additional motivation, you are carried in the flow of events in the right direction. When difficulties arise, self-control is necessary, the ability to deny oneself momentary pleasures for the sake of a great goal. The formula “Bad now, good later” will not allow you to deviate from the plan. If the goals are native, self-discipline is more needed than motivation. Thus it develops will to act.
Recognizing the emotions of others
Who knows how to control himself and has a desire to act, gets access to the next step - the ability to capture social signals that carry information about the mood and feelings of people around. Knowing his weaknesses and ways to overcome them, a person subtly feels the moods of others. One of the indicators general level intelligence - the ability to recognize the emotional state of the interlocutor. In this case, you can choose a behavior model and take matters into your own hands.
- recognizing the emotions of others + the will to act = managing the situation
Relationship Management
Through work on oneself, they are born leadership skills. At the top of emotional awareness comes an understanding of the laws of human relationships. Self-confident, calm, insightful, strong-willed - these are all characteristics of a strong leader. Each leader is obliged to continue self-development in the field of emotional intelligence, applying new knowledge in practice. Otherwise, he risks falling under the influence of a stronger personality and losing the threads of control. The coup can occur both within the group led by him, and by absorption from the outside.
The pace of life is constantly accelerating, the frequency and intensity of loads on nervous system. Anxiety, sadness, helplessness, stress reactions - all these negative symptoms are the result of low level emotional culture. The number of people who show rejection of their own personality, misunderstanding and rejection of others is increasing.
If something does not suit you in others, it is easier to change your own attitude to the situation than to try to redo everyone. Instead of making demands on others, you should first increase the demands on yourself. A good leader is an emotionally competent person. Effective team management is possible when you are in harmony with yourself.
- The way to manage others is through the ability to manage yourself.
You can do it yourself develop emotional intelligence or sign up for special training. It should be basically workshops in the order described above. That is, start moving from understanding yourself and developing your will. Take part in team games, become a referee in a team sport, organize an event, find an opportunity to speak in front of an audience. it is a powerful tool for controlling the attention and mood of others.
Emotional Intelligence Training just as important as physical training. People tend to relax efforts, plunging into a comfort zone. In advanced stages, this leads to a loss of self-confidence and a decrease in the quality of life. It is necessary to leave the comfort zone to reach a new level or return to the previous form. As in sports, you need to pick up the pace measuredly, gradually increasing the load. The focus should be directed to the acquisition of three groups of skills.
- EI \u003d EN + KN + PN
I. emotional skills directed inwards to their personality:
- determination of sentiments;
- expression of emotions;
- determining the intensity of emotions;
- owning one's own and managing other people's states;
- understanding when actions are based on emotional impulses;
- the ability to control impulses;
- the ability to direct emotions to achieve certain goals, refraining from momentary pleasures.
II. cognitive skills give an idea of themselves in the world around them:
- awareness of the present moment, thoughts about the past and future are relevant only when there is a benefit in this;
- the ability to set goals, anticipate the consequences and search for alternative ways;
- learning behavioral norms;
- respect for other people's opinions and different points of view;
- directing thoughts to solve problems, excluding empty experiences;
- establishing their role in society;
- positive attitude towards oneself, life and others.
III. behavioral skills aimed at performing actions in the outside world:
- the ability to behave with restraint in any situation;
- improvement of speech skills;
- internal self-control of the body to avoid unconscious movements;
- maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
It is believed that in business you cannot rely on emotions and they should not influence the result. However, in reality emotional interaction in business is very important, because it allows you to develop effective decisions and ensure their implementation.
It is necessary to correctly distinguish between concepts emotional intelligence and emotionality. The latter reveals itself in a non-standard manifestation of moods, which has a bright and eccentric character. The high intensity of emotions becomes an obstacle to making informed decisions, they cannot be controlled, so they are harmful common cause. Emotions of moderate intensity contain a large amount of useful information.
Mood swings are inherent in all people without exception, and often determine their behavior. Nobel Prize in Economics in 2002 by Daniel Kahneman. He proved that emotional factors influence important economic decisions.
The connection between leadership and emotional intelligence
In every community there is a person who strives to take a leading position. Success is achieved by those who have developed emotional intelligence. This is not always the most well-read representative of the team, but one who is not actually afraid to take responsibility for himself and others. It is the combination of practical skills and the will to act that determine success.
- a strong leader is an emotionally mature person
A high level of emotional intelligence eliminates empty fears and doubts, makes other people's motives understandable, and allows you to establish effective interaction with others. The ability to surround yourself with professionals is much more appropriate than doing everything yourself. A strong leader is able to set clear goals, has a high degree self-actualization, self-confident, able to admit his mistakes and mistakes. In other words, he is able to show emotional maturity.
Examples of success in developing emotional competence
Emotional intelligence has been talked about for a long time, but not in all countries it is given the same attention. In the West, it is taught in schools and institutes as the basis for success in employment and personal life. MBA programs place emphasis on emotion management and leadership.
Foreign example
American Express faced huge resistance with the launch of its new Life Insurance product. A negative attitude was observed among both clients and employees, because this service suggested thoughts of death. Aggressive sales style did not work, it was necessary to urgently take effective measures. Then, at American Express, all employees were sent for training in development of emotional intelligence. As a result, sales increased dramatically.
domestic example
In Russia, the concept is not so popular, but in Lately She was treated with increased interest. More and more companies are purposefully promoting the development of the emotional intelligence of their employees. good example are the companies "SIBUR", "Sberbank". This skill has a good response in the industrial sector, where the result of implementations is visible almost immediately.
Many people have talents, intelligence and ingenuity, but this does not make them wealthy. They are often one step (knowledge) away from full prosperity. Perhaps this is an insufficient level of emotional intelligence for you?
Ecology of life: He cheated from me all the time, I did term papers for him, and now I am just an ordinary employee of the bank, which he manages ...
“He cheated me all the time, I did coursework for him, and now I am just an ordinary employee of the bank, which he manages. How so?"
There are many confirmations of this. For instance, future billionaire Paul Orfala in elementary school he could not even learn the alphabet and was expelled from four schools. His report card was full of deuces and ones. The young man graduated from school somehow - eighth from the end in the academic record (from the book Copy It).
known to all Steve Jobs suspended from school several times for bad behavior and not doing homework - he flatly refused to do what he considered a waste of time. Steve himself said about this: “I was very bored at school, and I became a real daredevil” (from iKona. Steve Jobs by Jeffrey S. Young, William L. Simon).
Emotional Leadership
So why do many of those who were excellent students in school achieve less success "in life" than those who were listed as problem or even hopeless students?
The well-known psychologist Marina Melia believes that reason for emotional intelligence. Successful people have such intelligence highly developed. It turns out that for success it is more important than IQ. Scientists at Harvard University even argue that the significance of IQ in this case is only 20%. And if the leader has the highest IQ, but his EQ is minimal, he is unlikely to be able to realize his potential.
The concept of "emotional intelligence" is ambiguous and complex. Marina Melia in her book “Business is Psychology” writes that it is made up of a mass of different qualities, often difficult to define, which appear:
- v high level self understanding,
- in the ability to hear and understand other people, to anticipate their behavior,
- control one's own and others' emotions,
- in the ability to make the right decisions,
- the ability to influence, form and motivate the team to achieve the goal, etc.
One of the important manifestations of emotional intelligence- the ability to adequately assess one's own capabilities and limitations, to use one's own strengths and try to mitigate weaknesses.
For the first time, this phenomenon was discussed in the West after the publication of Daniel Goleman's book "Emotional Leadership".
Goleman revealed four components of emotional intelligence. High results in these categories guarantee leaders the achievement of the most comfortable and harmonious relations with others, respect and trust of their employees, which means continued success in management and leadership.
1. Self-perception
This is the ability to listen to your inner feelings, to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses, the limits of your capabilities. Self-aware people treat themselves with humor, readily learn skills they don't have, and welcome constructive criticism and feedback on their work. Accurate knowledge of their abilities allows them to fully use their sides, gives self-confidence.
2. Manage yourself
An objective idea of your strengths and weaknesses, the ability to listen to your emotions allow you to increase the level of self-control. People with this skill find ways to control their negative emotions, to remain calm and reasonable even during crises and severe stress. They flexibly adapt to difficulties, in difficult circumstances they always see an opportunity, not a threat.
3. Social receptivity
Understanding your emotions and controlling them helps develop the skill of empathy and empathy for those around you. Social sensitivity allows you to understand the unspoken feelings of others. Thanks to this empathy, it is easy to find a common language with people from different social strata and even different cultures.
4. Relationship management
This is the ability to use your ability to perceive emotions (both your own and those of others) in order to effectively build relationships. This is the ability to influence people: from the ability to choose the right tone when addressing a particular listener to the ability to attract interested parties to your side and achieve mass support for your initiative. People with this skill are consistently persuasive and charming.
Marina Melia adds also 5th component of emotional intelligence:
5. Ability to make decisions
Emotional intelligence is most evident in the way people make decisions.
Melina Melia stands for five keywords that distinguish effective people, that is, able to make decisions, from inefficient ones.
These words - awareness, reality, criterion, responsibility and no alternative.
An effective person is able to clearly realize that he is in a situation of choice and that if he has a problem, then it must be solved.
An effective person is able to see the most objective picture, "to face the truth."
An effective person is always aware on the basis of what (based on what criteria) he makes a decision in a particular situation.
An effective person never shifts responsibility onto someone else's shoulders.
Finally, an effective person does not come back halfway through other options. Having made a decision, he firmly acts in the chosen direction.
And one more important point. If IQ decreases with age, then emotional intelligence continues to improve throughout life. And the leader who works on developing his emotional intelligence achieves the highest results. published . If you have any questions on this topic, ask them to specialists and readers of our project .
Based on the books by Daniel Goleman "Emotional Leadership" and Marina Melia "Business is Psychology"
The essence of the concept and the main theories of emotional intelligence.
Today, the concept of "emotional intelligence" (Emotional Intelligence) is interpreted in different ways. There are more and less popular theories of emotional intelligence that describe the structure of EI and explain the essence of the concept. The phrase itself originally appeared at the end of the 20th century on the pages of academic psychological foreign literature. Today, we already freely use this concept, because. it has become an integral part of life modern man.
Scientists are developing new theoretical constructs, methods for diagnosing the level of emotional intelligence, practical psychologists are developing various trainings aimed at increasing the level of EI for people of different ages. In order to talk about EI, its significance in human life, how to train it and what methods exist for studying the level of EI development, it is necessary to first understand what this concept includes, what known models of EI exist. what are their similarities and differences from each other.
A person is constantly in one or another emotional state, which has a significant impact on his thoughts and actions. Of course, emotions are very important and represent a special type of knowledge about oneself and about the world in which a person lives. It is on this basis - the understanding of emotions, as a special type of knowledge, that the concept of "EI" was put forward.
Over the past 20 years, psychologists have conducted a lot of research, the purpose of which is to create the most complete model of EI and explore its potential. To date, there are several definitions of EI, because it is not for nothing that they say: how many scientists, so many opinions. Scientists will argue for a long time about what EI is, what it includes, and how scientific this concept is. However, initially the term "EI" included the ability to 1) process information contained in emotions, 2) determine the meaning and connection between different emotions, 3) use the received emotional information as a basis for thinking and making decisions.
In the first half of the 20th century, David Wexler (1943) proposed the classical concept of intelligence as the global ability of an individual to act purposefully, think rationally, and interact with the environment in an efficient manner. D. Veksler singled out "intellectual" (rational abilities) and "non-intellectual" elements of the intellect (social, communication skills). And despite the fact that Wexler suggested that "non-intellectual" abilities are of paramount importance for determining the ability of an individual to achieve success, this group of factors remained practically unattended, in contrast to the cognitive component. This led to the fact that for a long time the intellect was presented as a kind of constructor for solving logical and mathematical problems.
Back in the late 30s of the last century, Robert Thorndike put forward the concept of "social intelligence". However, the works of these authors were not developed for a long time. And only in 1983, Howard Gardner (the author of one of the modern concepts of intelligence) announced "multiple intelligences". H. Gardner identified seven forms of intelligence:
- Logico-mathematical;
- Verbal (linguistic);
- visual-spatial;
- Bodily-kinesthetic;
- Musical;
- Interpersonal (emotional);
- Spiritual (existential).
H. Gardner's concept of intelligence became the basis for the creation by John Mayer from the University of New Hampshire and Peter Salovey from Yale University of the concept of a, and later the first model of emotional intelligence.
The first model of emotional intelligence, developed by John Mayer, Peter Salovey, and David Caruso in 1990, defined emotional intelligence as the ability to recognize one's own emotions, as well as those of others, and use that information to make decisions. The authors of the concept presented emotional intelligence as a construct, the components of which were the abilities of 3 types:
- ability to identify and express emotions;
- ability to regulate emotions;
- ability to use emotional information in thinking and activity.
1.
Focuses on one's own emotions (it includes verbal and non-verbal subcomponents);
2.
Directed at the emotions of other people (it includes subcomponents of non-verbal perception and empathy).
Second type abilities are also divided into 2 components:
1.
Focused on regulating their emotions;
2.
It is aimed at regulating the emotions of other people.
Third type abilities are divided into the following components:
1.
Flexible planning;
2.
Creative thinking;
3.
redirected attention;
4.
Motivation.
The above structure of emotional intelligence was later finalized by the authors. The basis for an improved version of the EI model was the idea that emotions carry information about a person's connections with objects or other people. In the case of a change in connections with objects or other people, there is a change in the emotions that are experienced about this.
The Enhanced Emotional Intelligence Model has 4 components:
1.
Identification of emotions (perception of one's emotions and emotions of other people, adequate expression of emotions, discrimination of the authenticity of emotions);
2.
Comprehension of emotions (understanding of complexes of emotions, connections between emotions, causes of emotions, verbal information about emotions);
3.
Assimilation of emotions in thinking (using emotions to direct attention to important events, the ability to evoke emotions that contribute to problem solving);
4.
Emotion management (decrease in intensity negative emotions solving emotionally loaded tasks without suppressing the negative emotions associated with them).
Since the works of John Mayer, Peter Salovey, and David Caruso were published only in academic publications, the general public knew little about them. Daniel Goleman appreciated the ideas about emotional intelligence, expanded on them, and in 1995 wrote a book on emotional intelligence that became a bestseller in the United States. This was the impetus for extensive study and development of this topic. In his book, D. Goleman gave Special attention practical application theory of EI in life and at work. He suggested introducing EI training programs in schools and businesses, stating that emotional intelligence is more significant than academic intelligence.
Goleman's model of emotional intelligence is commonly referred to as a mixed model of EI. In his model of emotional intelligence, he combined cognitive abilities and personality characteristics and identified 5 main components of emotional intelligence:
self-awareness- the ability to name emotional states, the ability to understand the relationship between emotions, thinking and action, the ability to adequately assess their strengths and weaknesses;
Self-regulation- the ability to control emotions, the ability to change an undesirable emotional state, the ability to quickly recover from stress.
Motivation- the ability to enter into emotional states that contribute to the achievement of success, through the use of deep propensities to take the initiative.
social skills- the ability to enter into satisfying interpersonal relationships and maintain them.
Later, D. Goleman finalized the structure of emotional intelligence. Today it consists of four components:
- Self-awareness;
- Self-control;
- social understanding;
- Relationship management.
According to D. Goleman, the following components and skills associated with them are important in the development of the EI of leaders:
Personal Skills
1.
Self-awareness (Emotional self-awareness, accurate self-esteem, self-confidence);
2.
Self-control (control of emotions, openness, adaptability, will to win, initiative, optimism).
social skills
Social Awareness (Empathy, Business Awareness, Attentiveness)
Relationship management (inspire, influence, help improve yourself, promote change, resolve conflicts, strengthen personal relationships, teamwork and collaboration).
As can be seen, among the components of emotional intelligence that Goleman singles out, there are not only emotional abilities, but also social skills, volitional qualities of a person, as well as characteristics of self-awareness.
Another well-known interpretation of emotional intelligence is the model developed by Reuven Bar-On. It was Bar-On who introduced the designation EQ (emotional qujtinent) - the coefficient of emotionality. EQ is defined by the author as a set of all non-cognitive abilities, knowledge and competencies that allow a person to develop the ability to solve various life problems.
The structure of emotional intelligence according to Reuven Bar-On represents five selected areas of competence, which include 15 abilities.
Intrapersonal sphere
- introspection;
- assertiveness;
- Self-esteem;
- Self-actualization;
- Independence.
- empathy;
- Interpersonal relationships;
- Social responsibility;
- Flexibility
- Problem solving
- Validation of reality
- Stress resistance
- Impulsivity control
- Satisfaction with life
- Optimism
Psychologist D.V. Lucin in 2004 proposed a new model of emotional intelligence. The author defines emotional intelligence as the ability (a set of abilities) to understand one's own and others' emotions and manage them.
The ability to understand emotions can be directed to their own emotions and to the emotions of other people and means that a person:
- Can recognize emotion;
- Can identify emotion and verbalize it;
- Understands the causes of this emotion, and the consequences to which it will lead.
- Can control the intensity of emotions;
- Can regulate outward expression of emotions;
- If necessary, it can arbitrarily cause this or that emotion.
In the concept of D.V. Lusina "emotional intelligence" is a property of the psyche, which is formed during life under the influence of various factors that determine its specific individual characteristics and level.
There are three groups of factors that determine specific individual characteristics and the level of emotional intelligence:
1.
Cognitive abilities (include the accuracy and speed of processing emotional information);
2.
Ideas about emotions (as a valuable and important source information);
3.
Features of emotionality (emotional stability and emotional sensitivity).
Since D.V. Lusin does not introduce personal characteristics into the structure of emotional intelligence; this model has a fundamental difference from mixed models of emotional intelligence. The author allows only such personal characteristics that have direct influence individual characteristics and level of emotional intelligence.
We have described some of the most famous models of emotional intelligence.
The first was the model of J. Mayer, P. Salovey and D. Caruso. It includes only the abilities that are associated with the processing of information (cognitive abilities), in this regard, this model was defined by the authors as a model of abilities. Their theory is called "The theory of emotional-intellectual abilities of Mayer J., Salovey P., Caruso D.". Then, in his theory of emotional competence, D. Goleman supplemented the Salovey and Mayer ability model, he added to cognitive ability personal characteristics.
Models of this kind, in which many features are mixed that are not related to emotions and intelligence, and main idea emotional intelligence is mixed with a variety of other personality traits, called mixed models of emotional intelligence. Another mixed model of emotional intelligence is the Bar-On model of emotional intelligence in his non-cognitive theory of emotional intelligence. The model of emotional intelligence in the two-component theory of EI Lyusin DV has a fundamental difference between the above models (it does not belong to either the first or the second type).
Based on the analysis of the above theories of emotional intelligence, it is possible to define EI as a combination of the emotional and cognitive abilities of an individual for its socio-psychological adaptation.
Emotionally intelligent people, due to their ability to understand and manage their own emotions and the emotions of others, are well adapted in the social sphere, effective in communication and successful in achieving their goals.
Emotional intelligence includes 5 main characteristics:
1. Emotional awareness or knowing your emotions. recognizing a feeling as it arises is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. Failure to notice our true feelings leaves us to their mercy. People who are more confident in their feelings turn out to be better pilots of their lives, having less doubt about the correctness of personal decisions, from who to marry or whom to marry, to what business to take on.
- The ability to distinguish and interpret one's own moods, emotions, impulses experienced in this moment feelings, their differentiation, and their influence on other people
It seems to be so simple and happens by itself. But a common phenomenon in psychotherapy that surprises all novice psychotherapists is that a client can non-verbally show feelings very vividly and be completely unaware of these emotions. There is an old joke about a choleric person who, all red, clenching his fists, angrily shouts: “Who is worried? I AM? No, damn me!”
If what is vividly manifested by the client, but not yet verbalized by him, in a neutral form to say to the client at the right moment, then this can become a very powerful psychotherapeutic tool.
Diagnostic indicators are the ability to determine emotions by physical condition, speech, sounds, appearance and behavior
differentiate correct (truthful, corresponding to reality) and inaccurate (false) expressions of feelings.
Emotion understanding is the ability to classify emotions and recognize connections between words and emotions; interpret meanings of emotions related to relationships; understand complex (ambivalent) feelings; be aware of transitions from one emotion to another.
THEN. timely recognition and understanding of one's own emotions is a basic competence for situational management of feelings. This ability is the basic prerequisite for the rest of the elements of emotional intelligence.
In the course of research (P. Salovey) he found that people with greater emotional clarity cope with stressful situations more easily than others, they show better results and gain emotional balance faster. Thus, for the improvement of EC, the perception and understanding of one's own feelings is essential. This helps to overcome difficult situations and has a positive effect on social success and health.
2. Managing your emotions (self-regulation)- the ability to cope with feelings so that they do not go beyond the appropriate framework - this is the ability to calm oneself, get rid of rampant anxiety, anxiety, despondency or irritability. The ability to quickly bounce back after life's failures and sorrows.
The ability to control and direct one's own impulses and impulses, managing feelings so that they correspond to the present situation, for an adequate response.
It is the reflexive regulation of emotions that helps include emotions or move away from them, depending on their usefulness; manage your emotions with restraint negative feelings and increase positive ones, without distorting the information contained in them.
The plot with the plane is borrowed from psychological test, developed by Suzanne Miller, with the aim of finding out what people are more inclined to: vigilantly follow the smallest details of what is happening in an emergency, or, conversely, cope with anxious periods by trying to distract. These two atten- tive attitudes toward distress have very different consequences for how people experience their own experiences. emotional reactions. Those who succumb to the pressure of circumstances and tune in to them, may, by paying too much attention to them, involuntarily intensify their reactions, especially if their “tuning” lacks the composure inherent in self-awareness. As a result, their emotions run wild. Those who do not tune in to what is happening are distracted from it, pay less attention to their own reactions and thereby minimize the experience of their emotional response., and even the scale of this response.
3. self-motivation- concentration of feelings, striving for a goal, despite doubts, inertia and impulsiveness, Powerful passion for work coming from within, drive
Putting emotions in order for the sake of achieving a goal is necessary for focusing attention, for self-control and in order to be capable of creation. This just applies delaying gratification and suppressing impulsivity- underlies all achievements. The ability to bring oneself into a state of "inspiration" ensures the achievement of an outstanding quality in any action. People who master this art tend to be more productive and successful in whatever they undertake.
The choice made by the child will be a very revealing criterion, which will quickly reveal not only his character, but will also say a lot about life path which he has to go through.
There is probably no more psychologically important skill than the ability to resist urges. It is the essence of complete emotional self-control, since all emotions, by their very nature, result in some kind of urge to act.
One way or another, an unusual experiment with marshmallows, which was treated to four-year-old kids, showed how important the ability to curb emotions and restrain impulses is. In the 1960s, psychologist Walter Michel conducted research into preschool on the campus of Stanford University with the participation of children of faculty, graduate students and other employees of the university, and, according to the study program, the behavior of children was observed from the moment they were 4 years old until graduation from high school.
So, as for the experience with marshmallows. Some children were able to wait those fifteen to twenty minutes until the experimenter returned. These brave preschoolers were rewarded with two marshmallows. Others, more impulsive, grabbed one marshmallow, almost always a few seconds after the experimenter left the room, supposedly to carry out the “order” given to him.
The opportunity to understand what this momentary impulse would result in, presented itself only after 12-14 years, when these children reached adolescence. It's hard to believe how dramatic the emotional and social differences were between former preschoolers who grabbed one marshmallow and their peers who delayed gratification. Children who resisted the temptation at the age of four, having matured, became social relations more competent, that is, more successful in personal terms, self-confident and able to better cope with life's troubles.
In contrast, about a third of those who grabbed marshmallows showed fewer of these qualities, and in addition they had a more disturbing psychological profile. In their youth, they most likely avoided social contact, were stubborn and indecisive, easily lost their mental balance from disappointments, considered themselves “bad” or unworthy, became constrained by stress, were distrustful and resentful because they were “passed around” , jealous and envious, reacted too sharply to irritation with sharp antics, thus provoking disputes and fights. And to top it all off, at that age, they still couldn't delay pleasure.
What is revealed by modest inclinations in childhood flourishes in later life with all sorts of social and emotional competencies. The ability to curb urge is at the heart of many aspirations, from dieting to getting degree in medecine.
4. empathy– The ability to understand the emotional state of others (tuning to verbal and non-verbal signals) and interact with them, taking into account their emotional reactions.
Empathy is called the main "human gift". Empathetic people are more attuned to subtle social cues that indicate what other people want or need.
5. Social skills to maintain and regulate relationships– management interpersonal relationships, conflict resolution, negotiations. The ability to find a common language and maintain relationships with people, regardless of their predisposition. The ability to evoke or dampen a particular emotion in others. The ability to calm an excited or angry person or cheer up a fearful one, help people realize their feelings, arouse interest and cheer people up!
In general, the art of maintaining relationships for the most part lies in the skillful handling of other people's emotions. Emotionally intelligent people are able to realistically assess what emotions their actions can cause and use this knowledge to find a reasonable solution. These are the abilities that strengthen popularity, leadership and interpersonal effectiveness.
According to Goleman, emotional intelligence can be defined "as the ability to hear one's own feelings, control outbursts of emotions, as the ability to make the right decision and remain calm and optimistic about a difficult situation."
THEN. By definition, EI includes:
Ability to perceive own emotions
The ability to deal with them, subordinate them to your goal
· Motivate yourself
The ability to empathize with other people (empathy) and
· Competently build relationships.
The practical definition of EI is the ability to be aware of one's own emotions and the emotions of another, the ability to manage one's own emotions and the emotions of another and build our interaction on this basis.
Jack Block, a psychologist at California State University at Berkeley, compared two theoretically pure types: people with high scores mental development and people with pronounced emotional abilities. The differences are impressive. Graphs of personality characteristics of men and women are slightly different.
D / z: make 4 psychological portraits:
a man with a high general intelligence,
a man with high emotional intelligence,
woman with high general intelligence,
woman with high emotional intelligence
everyone - according to the results, make a table:
A typical male representative with a high IQ is distinguished by a wide range of intellectual needs and abilities. He is ambitious and productive, predictable and tenacious, and unencumbered by worries about himself. He is also prone to criticism, behaves patronizingly, demanding and restrained, feels awkward from manifestations of sexuality and sensual experiences, inexpressive, keeps aloof, emotionally balanced.
On the contrary, people with high emotional intelligence are socially balanced, friendly and in a great mood, not subject to fear and not prone to anxious thinking. They are obligatory in relation to people and started cases, willingly take responsibility and adhere to ethical principles, in communication with others they are friendly and caring. Their emotional life is eventful, but within the proper limits. They are in harmony with themselves, with others, and with the society in which they live.
Women with high IQ, naturally confident in their intellect, they express themselves freely, are well versed in intellectual problems and are distinguished by a wide range of intellectual and aesthetic needs. They clearly guess desire for self-examination, they often fall into anxiety, are tormented by guilt, are prone to long reflections and usually do not dare to openly show their anger (but express irritation in an indirect way).
Women with emotional intelligence, on the contrary, are overly assertive, frank in expressing their feelings and always pleased with themselves. Life is full of meaning for them. Like men, they are friendly and sociable and express their feelings appropriately (and by no means in violent outbursts that they later regret), and they also cope well with stress. Their ability to stay in society allows them to easily converge with new people; they are pleased with themselves, and therefore more direct and easily amenable to sensory experiences. Unlike women with a high IQ, they do not suffer from anxiety and guilt and do not tend to immerse themselves in deep thought.
In psychological practice, emotions are like blood in surgery: neither one nor the other can be avoided in work; both serve to restore functions and cure; a professional works with both, and treats both with respect, but neither is the main goal of the process.
For most people, it is relatively easy to trigger an emotional release. Many, if not all, adults have some stock of pain, disappointment, loneliness, guilt that can be reached with a little kindness and perseverance. But at the same time, such a question is very rarely asked: “What to do next when all these emotions have already come to the surface?”
I have already said that emotions are an important part of the process, but not its goal. I suppose that this goal is to increase the level of awareness of life, namely: to increase the level of human awareness of his being, his strength, his options for choice and his boundaries. Raising this level, we must help the client understand how he builds his life and his awareness, what possibilities are hidden in him. The process of awareness is inevitably guided and accompanied by strong feelings of fear, pain, guilt, remorse, hope, understanding and fulfillment.
A psychotherapist who pays some attention to affective aspects does a lot to influence the emotional flow - to maintain an optimal level of motivation, to help the client not get bogged down in emotions for the sake of emotions.
The job of the psychotherapist is to help your partner express sincere feelings as they correspond to the vital concern that motivates psychotherapy.
Feedback example
K-A. Who's worried? (Angry, face red, body tense?) Me? No, damn me!
P-A. You want me to believe that you don't care.
K-B (hotly). Of course yes. Useless...
P-B (gently interrupting). And you scream it at me so I don't think you're worried.
K-V (frightened). Uff! Yes (pause), yes, probably yes. Hmm, maybe I'm more pissed off than I realized.
P-V. Sometimes this happens to us.
Ways to regulate emotions
(Data modern science psychology)
Emotion regulation is a person's awareness of their emotional experiences biologically and socially expedient their use to achieve the goal and meet the needs. Emotion regulation involves applying knowledge about your emotions to solve the problem they signal. The regulation of emotions involves the maximum possible external expression, the discharge of emotional states in constructive ways that do not violate the interests, rights and freedoms of other people.
Emotion regulation is the transformation of destructive emotions into constructive ones, i.e. contributing to the productive implementation of current or upcoming activities and communication.
Izard (2000) identifies three methods for eliminating an unwanted emotional state: 1) regulation through another emotion; 2) cognitive regulation; 3) motor regulation.
The first way of regulation involves conscious efforts aimed at activating another emotion, opposite to the one that a person is experiencing and wants to eliminate. The second way involves using attention and thinking to suppress or control an unwanted emotion. This is the switching of consciousness to events and activities that arouse interest in a person, positive emotional experiences. The third method involves the use of physical activity as a channel for releasing the emotional tension that has arisen.
Emotion regulation is by no means the suppression and repression of emotions or their elimination without initiating activity aimed at resolving the problem.
Using the energy of emotional experiences to organize constructive goal-directed behavior is called matching behavior, or coping. The ability of a person to overcome negative emotional situations, threatening influences (stressors) contribute to maintaining emotional balance.
There are two types of coping:
1) coping aimed at changing the outside world, or problem-oriented
2) coping aimed at changing the inner world or focused on emotions, thoughts, intentions. The attitude to the problem is changing, and it is effective if the problem is actually unsolvable, or not subject to control and transformation.
There is the following classification of ways to regulate emotions:
1) Emotional response. Emotion is recognized and discharged in activities aimed at solving the problem, or in indirect activities (communication), after which the subject proceeds to solve the problem. Emotion is discharged physically or verbally. (verbalization of feelings, awareness of emotions, music therapy, crying, etc.) In any case, the problem that gave rise to the emotion is solved.
2) Emotional transformation. The inner world changes due to the constructive restructuring of emotions. It is a less optimal way compared to emotional response. An unwanted emotion changes to a desirable one, the attitude towards the problem changes - but the problem itself is not solved, the need remains unsatisfied and there is no discharge of emotional tension. ET is carried out in situations where the solution of the problem does not depend on the subject.
3) Emotional suppression. The inner world is changing due to the non-constructive repression of emotions. Suboptimal way to regulate emotions. The emotion is not reacted, but forced out of consciousness into the unconscious. There is a departure from solving the problem, the problem is not resolved. As a result, suppressed emotions accumulate, which threatens with destructive forms of discharge, directed either at oneself or at other people (aggressive affects).
Examples are sports, switching to another type of activity (including humor), relaxation and meditation, etc. - it distracts from the problem and its solution.
Nevertheless, these methods of emotional suppression can improve well-being and increase adaptive abilities, which is necessary for the subsequent change of attitudes and problem solving.
If a person knows that he can at least partially control his feelings, this in itself can give a sense of self-control, which increases a sense of security and well-being. Change must begin with self-observation. Behind my body - what happens to it when I'm tired, what kind of rest I need, where it hurts. Behind your feelings - when they appear, they are just born so small, how they transform, how they splash out or how they hide and accumulate somewhere in the corner of the soul.
