How does physical pain manifest itself? heartache

This is a state of mind that is not associated with disorders of body functions. Mental disorder leads to heartache. Then they say "my soul hurts." Mental pain occurs when we are very worried about some event or a person close to us.

heartache may not let go of a person when his ideas do not agree with what happens in reality. Most of our experiences leading to depression (often long-term and not passing) arise from patterns that have formed in our brain, and the reality is completely different from what we expected it to be. This leads to disappointment and heartache.

How is emotional pain experienced?

A person can experience mental pain clearly - and this is good, because emotions are expressed and fade over time. Or a person experiences mental pain secretly, and sometimes, suffering, does not want to admit it to himself. Then he gets rid of mental pain in several ways. Mental pain is transferred from the conscious sensation to the subconscious. A person thinks that he is no longer suffering, but this is not so. In fact, it applies the methods:

• pain avoidance
• resistance to pain by transferring it to the subconscious

If a person is more inclined to demonstrate his feelings and actions, then he begins to look for a way out of getting rid of mental pain, he can consult with acquaintances, friends, or seek salvation in removing the root of the problem. For example, relationships with children cause mental pain - then a person is looking for ways to find with them mutual language.

The method of avoidance is that the person simply does not recognize the problem, says that everything is fine with him and does not even admit to himself that he is sick of the soul because of something. Then the mental pain remains, but it passes into an implicit, subconscious form, and it is very difficult to get rid of this state, it torments a person much longer, like an open recognition and pronunciation of a problem.

Hidden heartache

Such pain can last for years, changing the character, actions of a person and affecting his relationship with others - relatives, colleagues. A person with heartache may begin to attract negative people into his life, change the level of acquaintances or refuse them altogether, having stopped communicating with people.

Mental pain does not allow a person to create, well, with a soul, to work, it even changes the character of a person. At the same time, he may not even understand what is happening to him.

Some situations may remind a person of the one that caused him mental pain many years ago. But a person who drove his emotions into the subconscious many years ago can cry and worry, not understanding what is happening to him, just watching some scene from a movie.

In such cases, if you yourself cannot cope with mental pain, you need the help of a psychiatrist, psychologist or just a loved one who can listen to you and understand.

Heartache by Edwin Shneidman

Psychologist Shneidman gave the following definition of mental pain: “It is in no way similar to bodily or physical pain. Mental pain is those experiences that a person feels as a person. Heartache is pain for one's own unique human self.

mental pain arises as suffering, torment, melancholy, confusion. Mental pain is generated by grief, loneliness, feelings of guilt, shame, humiliation, fear of something inevitable - death, aging, physical illness.

According to Shneidman, mental pain is as real to a person as any other real event: "When a person experiences mental pain, its introspective reality does not cause him any doubts."

Don't let the heartache return

There is scientific evidence that we are in a state of depression for only a quarter of an hour, the rest of the time we ourselves create mental pain for ourselves, prolong it and aggravate it.

Therefore, it is important not to return the heartache again. return heartache contribute to similar situations that led to a state of mental pain. Once in a bad situation again, it is important to get out of it or at least react differently in order to avoid a repetition of heartache.

How to get rid of mental pain?

To get rid of mental pain, one way is to eliminate its cause. If among the causes of mental pain is the behavior of a person, his attitude towards you, your conflicts with someone, then you need to remove these causes, and not work with your emotions in relation to them.

For example, if you're having trouble with your boss at work that causes you heartache, it's worth working on your relationship with him, not how you feel about it. That is, removing the very cause of heartache: finding a common language with your boss or quitting - perhaps this is not your way.

If mental pain is caused by a situation that can no longer be changed (for example, the death or illness of a loved one), it is worth working on your emotions and perception of reality. An experienced psychologist can help with this if you can’t cope on your own.

How do you deal with the pain of losing someone or something?

It is very difficult. For psychological rehabilitation in case of loss, for example, of a loved one, it takes from six months to a year. And only then you can start building a love relationship with another person, psychologists advise. Otherwise, you will go in the same circle and make the same mistakes.

To deal with heartache in case of loss, you must, firstly, admit to yourself that the situation has already happened. This will ease your condition, open the way for pain. Secondly, you need to go through a period of pain, come to your senses. Don't rush into this.

And then you need to build a new future for yourself without this person or these circumstances. For example, without a loved one or a favorite job. Build everything in detail so that you can imagine "what and how will happen to you when this is not there." Most often, the real world really becomes the way you build it for yourself in your imagination.

Do not confuse emotional pain with other emotions

Heartache can actually hide under other masks. Therefore, it can be confused, for example, with anger, resentment, disappointment. That is, in fact, you experience other emotions, and the ways of liberation from them are different. Understanding what you are experiencing and how to mitigate or transform these feelings will help a psychologist or psychotherapist.

How to get rid of mental pain in simple ways?

There are several ways that first muffle the heartache, and then remove it altogether.

1. Find a person or people who are worse off than you. And start taking care of them. That is, you will switch your attention to another object and will not think so much about your experiences. It can be children from an orphanage, an old woman from a neighboring house, a kitten that you will take in a shelter.
2. Learn deep breathing systems with a long inlet and a short exhalation. Proper breathing will help the cells of your body recover, strengthen the nervous system, and over time, mental pain will pass.
3. Make it a rule to say something nice to at least one person every day. The positive emotions of others can be transferred to you.
4. Get enough sleep, because during sleep, many body functions are restored, including the work of nerve cells.
5. Remove muscle tension. During our experiences, the muscles shrink, muscle clamps arise. They can be removed by dancing, exercising, jogging, push-ups and any other physical activity. You can just walk - at least half an hour a day.
6. Sign up for a massage course. Massage is also able to remove muscle blocks and clamps and give good mood. The pain in your heart will be much less as soon as you let the positivity into your soul.

Which do you think is more painful, mental or physical? As practice shows, it is better to suffer from physical pain than from mental pain. The reason for this is the experiences that accompany this and that type of pain. How to cope and get rid of mental pain often becomes a problem with which people seek the help of a psychologist on the site.

Mental pain can be associated with suffering, torment, rejection. It does not manifest itself in the same way as the physical. If physical pain disappears immediately after the causes of its occurrence have been eliminated (for example, a splinter or wound has been pulled out), then mental pain is not so easy to relieve. Even if the causes of its occurrence are clear, it is not always possible to eliminate them. The task becomes sometimes difficult or even unsolvable.

Mental pain is considered more dangerous than physical pain. This is due to the fact that mental pain affects the work of the whole organism. Several systems may lose their functionality at once. This is while physical pain often indicates the location of the lesion that should be treated. At the same time, other systems retain their functionality.

What is mental pain?

If you do not accept something (illness, situation, reality, rude people, etc.), it starts to haunt you. With your rejection, you simply run away from something, and it catches up with you with its repetitions. This can answer the question, what is mental pain.

Pain is an integral part human life. Everyone experiences both physical and mental pain that occurs during certain stressful situations. Most people are notoriously negative about any pain. Is it really given to man so that he suffers? Or is pain still a kind of lesson, after passing through which a person becomes wiser, stronger, more experienced and more perfect?

If you weren't benefiting from the state you're in (negative or positive), you wouldn't experience it.

The meaning of pain is to give a person information about the violation of natural processes, draw his attention to what is happening, and stimulate him to restore harmony. After the pain realizes its meaning, it will pass. For example, stepping on a nail (disturbance of nature), you feel pain, remove your foot and heal the wound (stimulation and recovery). After that, you give yourself time for the wound to heal, and this allows the pain to go away. It's the same with any mental pain. Stop disturbing the wound (physical and mental) and the pain will go away. Let the pain fulfill its purpose, and you will feel better.

In a period of acute pain, it is impossible to make an informed decision. Therefore, being at such a life stage, you just need to give free rein to your pain. You can cry, you can suffer, you can feel the aching pain. Do not be afraid of this, as this is a natural process of the first stage of treatment. Every day it will become easier and easier. And this applies not only to bodily, but also to moral pain.

When a person suffers physically or mentally, he often seeks help from outside. At the same time, the person himself does not want to do anything, wanting to shift all his problems and their solution to other people. " dead man can't be cured!" That is, until a person himself begins to solve his problems, he will return to them again and again, complaining about those who did not cure him. This is why lonely people become even more lonely when relationships with those who were supposed to "cure" them from loneliness are destroyed. This is why people become even more unhappy after breaking up with those partners who were supposed to make them happy in the first place. Where a person places his own “recovery” on others, he continues to be sick. The other cannot "cure" you.

A person often treats the pain, not the cause of it. For example, the stomach hurts - a person takes pills, but does not change his diet. A person is jealous and forces a partner not to communicate with other people, not understanding his own insecurity and selfishness. By removing the cause, the effect disappears on its own!

Most diseases are of a materialized nature. The way you feel about yourself and the world around you is how you get sick (if negatively) or not sick (if positively). It turns out that pain and everything connected with it is a kind of lesson, pointer or landmark that indicates what a person is doing wrong, what he is wrong about and where he contradicts himself. Is it worth it to refuse and be offended by such an impartial and straightforward teacher? Probably not, because only pain will tell the truth about yourself.

How to deal with mental pain?

A feature of mental suffering is that a person sometimes rejects it. It is so painful and unbearable that it soon goes into the subconscious. Psychologists say that unexperienced and unresolved mental suffering soon becomes unconscious. So a person solves the problem of how to cope with mental pain.

The notion that by avoiding it is possible to eliminate pain of a psychological nature becomes erroneous. In fact, it is stored in a person, it simply deepens into his subconscious and pops up every time when traumatic situations arise that cause similar experiences. And each time the suffering becomes stronger and more painful.

There is another category of people who do not crush, but try to free themselves from emotional experiences. This happens by the fact that they reprimand their friends, relatives, colleagues. Indeed, one can calm down and discharge a little by stating one's problem, which is often used in psychoanalysis.

Another way to deal with heartache can be to solve the problem. If the problem is emotional or moral, then eliminating the problem will help in avoiding suffering and anguish. For example, make peace with your family if you are in a quarrel with them.

To cope with heartache, you need to understand that this is a rejection of reality as it is. A person has desires that are not realized in a particular situation. If he does not come to terms with this, does not try to look for ways to get out of the situation, then he plunges into suffering. Here is one of two options:

1. Or solve a problem that a person does not like.
2. Either come to terms with its presence, change your attitude towards it.

How to get rid of mental pain?

Coping with moral feelings is much easier than getting rid of the mental pain that has been periodically popping up in a person for many years, tormenting him. Here, sometimes one cannot do without the help of a psychologist, because over the years a person already begins to forget what caused him such experiences. The pain remains, but its causes are forgotten. This happens especially brightly with childhood mental traumas, which a person in adulthood may no longer remember.

How to get rid of mental pain on your own? It is necessary to accept what is unpleasant or annoying for you, then you will experience it at the level of emotions, actions, sensations, and it will leave you alone. The main thing is to simply accept (feel, feel emotions, survive or solve the situation; calmly relate to what is happening to you). It is to accept (“It is ... Let it be ... So what?”), And not to love - hear the difference.

Don't resist. It is very easy to cure or solve a problem simply by accepting what is happening as a fact, as its presence, without resistance, without flight, without aggression. Accept the situation - and it will be resolved very quickly.

People often experience psychological pain, calling it mental. But in fact, their pain is the result of their rejection. Pain means you are not accepting something. And as soon as you accept what you reject (dislike, irritate, humiliate, etc.), your pain will go out. Accept the current situation: "Yes, it is." No need to love her, no need to agree. Just be aware that it is there, accept its presence in your life. Then you can learn how to live with it, and not react to it. But there is no need to be afraid and run away, because she will catch up with you. You just need to learn to see it, to be aware of its presence and not to react.

Heartache after a breakup

It's not uncommon for people to experience heartache after a breakup, especially if it was their partners who initiated it and the news of the breakup was unforeseen. More heartache is left by cases when a person who was loved cheated on his partner. Although the initiator of the gap may be the one who was betrayed, he will still suffer and suffer.

The pain after a breakup is just as unbearable as after the death of a loved one. Here a situation arises when one person does not become in the life of another. The former partner is alive, but he no longer wants to show love, be around, give his time and energy.

After a breakup, a person goes through 3 stages:

1. Negation.
2. Indignation. Here you should accept and experience all those emotions that alternate inside.
3. Reconciliation (realization).

Only at the last stage does a person experience peace of mind, when he finally comes to terms at all levels with the fact that the former partner is no longer worth waiting for, loving and looking for. In order for this stage to come faster, psychologists advise getting rid of everything that reminds you of a former partner, and also not looking for contacts with him.

If the final decision is made, then it is better to put up with it. Every day it will become easier, which is called getting used to a new life. To speed up this process, recommendations are given for self-development. While you are distracted by other things and worries, the heartache after parting passes.

Severe mental pain

The stronger the loss or loss, the stronger the emotional pain is experienced. It is accompanied by a range of different sensations:

• Torment.
• Yearning.
• Confusion.
• Loneliness.
• Guilt.
• Shame.
• Humiliation.
• Woe.
• Fears.

Severe mental pain is eliminated by solving the problem that provoked it, resigning to an unpleasant situation, or waiting for the time when all emotions burn out. Sometimes you just need to give yourself time to suffer in order to move on to the next stage - the beginning of a new life.

In parallel, you can use the following tips:

1. Help people who are worse off than you.
2. Say nice things to other people, praise yourself.
3. Practice breathing exercises for relaxation.
4. Get distracted by other kinds of worries and activities.
5. Rest.

Outcome

Mental pain is not a natural state of a person, but it manifests itself as a reaction to external situations and stimuli. With the help of relaxation exercises and conversations with a psychologist, you can achieve quick results on getting out of a depressive state. The important thing here is how much a person wants to get rid of mental pain and what he does for this.

Article author: Maria Barnikova (psychiatrist)

Heartache: inevitable suffering or a chance to become happy?

20.11.2015

Maria Barnikova

Mental pain is a specific phenomenon that deeply affects the sphere of feelings of the individual and manifests itself in a change in the mental state of a person.

heartache- a specific phenomenon that deeply affects the sphere of feelings of the individual and manifests itself in a change in the mental state of a person. Unlike physiological pain syndromes, mental suffering is not the result of organic or functional diseases of the body.

The mechanism of development of mental pain

As an emotion, mental pain occurs in response to a sharp global change in the habitual way of life of a person, which a person interprets as an important negative event. In most cases, such an emotion is the result of a significant loss for the individual, for example: the death of a close relative, separation from a beloved partner, a break due to betrayal from best friend, death of a pet, loss of social status.

A rapidly emerging emotion, with a kind of negative assessment by a person, is transformed into a long-term negative experience, translating mental pain into a deep, intensely expressed feeling. According to psychologists, any sudden loss by a person of components significant for life, whether it be the loss of a loved one or a valuable object, removes an essential link from among the factors necessary for the survival of an individual.

Until recently, most doctors adhered to the hypothesis that mental pain is purely subjective. Modern psychologists adhere to the theory that mental pain is a phenomenon that is completely different from bodily sensations, a kind of unconscious suffering for one's own "I". However, detailed studies conducted by American neuropsychologists have refuted this assertion. The pictures obtained by means of a magnetic resonance tomograph confirmed the identity in the process of development of mental pain and physiological pain. In both cases, when a person experiences both mental suffering and physical pain, activation of the neurons of the limbic system of the brain is observed.

It has also been established that mental anguish can manifest itself at the physiological level, in particular, be felt as psychogenic pain. This type of pain syndrome is not associated with somatic pathologies and does not have a clear localization. Often, mental, as well as psychogenic pain, is an indispensable companion of depression, hysteria, hypochondria, anxiety, and other psycho-emotional disorders.

Causes

As a rule, humanity is accustomed to shifting all responsibility for the occurrence of moral suffering exclusively on external factors and circumstances. However, this unpleasant experience of a psychosomatic nature can arise due to prolonged physical and mental stress, for example: a constant feeling of irrational, long-term suppressed emotion of anger. Not taking into account the primordially physiological nature of such reactions: a deficiency of certain chemical substances- neurotransmitters, excessive production of anxiety hormones, a person interprets his feelings as an exclusively internal feeling, ignoring the accompanying muscle spasms, tension headaches and other somatic symptoms.

Quite often, a person cultivates mental pain on his own, creating a direct association with painful sensations experienced in the past from some event. Such a conscious fixation on the negative situations of personal history connects any, even an insignificant phenomenon, with the suffering experienced earlier, leading to a chronic mental “shake”.

The mental pain often demonstrated to others masks the obscene thoughts of a person. Thus, the internal cynical need of an individual to gain certain benefits can be hidden behind the suffering of the soul, for example: to attract attention by any means, to receive a guarantee not to experience a fiasco in actions. Exhibited mental anguish can be a skillful tool for revenge or become a means to achieve power over others.

An important reason for the wide spread of mental suffering is the historical fact that Christian morality encourages and cultivates mental pain. In the understanding of believers, torment of the heart is a virtue, an indicator of righteousness and the true faith of a person. Modern culture to match Christianity, he preaches the principle: the experience of suffering is dignity, special heroism, a kind of indicator of an educated humane personality, a necessary destiny of a person on the path to transformation.

Step 1: Give Yourself Time to Suffer

How to cope with mental pain - an uninvited guest, who unceremoniously destroys happiness and faith? To cope with mental pain, you should give yourself time to go through a difficult period, do not rush or push yourself. Remember: most people are characterized by an independent subsidence of mental pain, provided that the “bleeding wound” is not reopened. This is similar to how relaxation occurs over time after muscle spasms, how psychogenic headache after a good rest. The rate of natural healing of the body depends on a number of factors: the age of the person, his psychological features, states of the central nervous system, significance for the individual of the events experienced.

Step 2. Get rid of the habit of dramatization

Unfortunately, most of our contemporaries, who are prone to heartbreak, do not have sufficient psychological knowledge about how to relieve mental pain, or do not use the skills in practice. Many of us have ritual patterns of behavior, the essence of which is "rubbing salt in the wound." This is manifested in the habit of raising and discussing a painful topic, remembering the past “happy” days, not letting go, but pursuing a person, even when the futility of the relationship is clearly understood. Of course, the minor feeling that has arisen after a tragic event is a natural and understandable state, but the habit of consciously dramatizing and increasing the scale of the catastrophe must be eradicated. If mental pain in the heart is provoked by an event that cannot be changed, for example: with an incurable illness of a loved one, one should work on emotions and change the interpretation of the situation.

Mental suffering can be consciously or not strengthened by the close environment, touching on weak points, touching on unpleasant topics, giving "practical" advice. In such situations, in order to relieve mental pain, it is necessary to reconsider personal contacts, temporarily stopping communication with such people who are doing a disservice.

Step 3. We measure our torments with the difficulties of the universe

Most people quickly jump into a fight with mental pain without understanding whether the problem really exists. Psychologists say that 99% of all “insoluble” difficulties are created independently by a person, more precisely, by the brain. People make an elephant out of a fly, temporary troubles are introduced into the rank of the apocalypse. And the resulting mental pain is not evidence of an insurmountable threat, but the fact that the person is confused in the interpretation of events, she lacks knowledge and skills.

In such a situation, mental pain is a valuable gift of nature, directing a person to study his personality, reflect on the meaning of life, and reflect on his reality. Psychologists advise to recognize the fact that a personal problem is the smallest grain in the complex structure of the universe. Understanding this allows a person to dive much deeper than their difficulties, gives a person a chance to gain wisdom, change in better side, perform only useful actions and not waste energy in vain.

Step 4. Studying ourselves and our suffering

An important step in overcoming heartache is to give honest answers to the questions: “What truth does heartache reveal? What lesson do I need to learn from this event? To deal with mental pain, you need to immerse yourself in it and study it. And faith in one's own strengths, purpose and motivation will help to get out of a difficult state. Every person has a cherished dream, the realization of which is constantly postponed until later. A person, guided by primitive instincts, does not leave himself a chance to realize a dream because of his own laziness, invented excuses for inaction, fictional fears and lack of faith.

To get rid of mental pain, you need to devote time to studying your condition and try to determine the real reason for your feelings. To do this, on a piece of paper, you should outline your activities to the smallest detail over the past week and try to describe your current feelings. For more than half of the people, heartache is triggered by regret about the misused time spent on absolutely useless things.

For example: a housewife, instead of devoting time to personal development and education, full-fledged social contacts, body care, sees her mission exclusively in performing routine household chores. Often, a woman with such a way of life suffers from the accumulated fatigue from the monotonous housework, which does not meet with due appreciation from the spouse, and reaches a critical point when the husband leaves the family.

What to do in such a situation, and how to cope with mental pain? Accept a fait accompli life priorities, change the field of activity, work on revealing new facets of personality, try to find your own zest.

Step 5: Rethinking Your Lifestyle

Important actions that must be performed daily to escape from the bottomless abyss and cope with mental pain:

• eat,
• sleep,
• move.

You should make a varied, healthy, complete and tasty menu, enjoying the ritual of eating. Sleep is an important component for restoring health, a magical cure for pain. Movement is exactly the argument, because of which any organism lives.

To get rid of mental pain, you need to have a healthy body, because the stability of the emotional sphere directly depends on physical condition. In order to quickly cope with a painful state of mind, you need to “turn on” the resources of the body by going in for sports. Physical activity is not only a way to be in great shape and keep physical health but also a chance to achieve harmony in the inner world, get moral pleasure, stand on the true life path and find peace of mind.

Step 6. Taking care of loved ones

When your heart is completely sad, remember your loved ones and start taking care of them. Sometimes it is very difficult to take a step towards others, because when the soul suffers, all thoughts are focused only on their state. Getting rid of the barriers of selfishness, showing attention and love to another person, as a reward you will receive gratitude, a surge of energy and an incentive to rise and live. Therefore, by doing good to others, a person takes care of his well-being and can cope with the suffering of the heart.

Step 7. Get rid of destructive emotions

To survive the pain, you need to get rid of negative emotions. Remember: the one who justifies and cultivates resentment, envy, jealousy, is doomed to feel mental anguish, because the accumulated intensity of negative passions will destroy the person himself first of all.

Step 8. Saying "no" to bad habits

Attention! Many people who are suffering try to get rid of their mental pain with the help of alcohol, drugs, risky activities. Due to heavy painful internal sensations and misunderstanding of the nature of mental pain, a person, instead of efforts aimed at changing his personality, prefers to escape from reality, forgetting himself in the fog of destructive addictions. However, such a measure not only does not help to cope with mental pain, but also creates even more dangerous problems, depriving one of willpower and taking away the last hope for happiness.

Step 9. Temper our soul

Remember that it is easier to prevent heartache than to deal with it. You should develop your emotional stability, train mental stamina, strengthen psychological invulnerability. It is necessary to start tempering your soul with successfully overcoming life's little things. The main rule is to identify the wrong interpretation of the event and change your perception of the situation, at least to a neutral point of view.

For example: as a result of layoffs, you were fired from a prestigious position. Natural emotions will be anger, resentment, anger, disappointment, fear for the future. However, such a forced “leaving” brings a lot of positive things: to bring novelty into everyday life, the opportunity to try yourself in a new field, get another education, motivate you to succeed in your own business, discover your talents in another field. In this case, a positive interpretation of events will not give the slightest chance to be captured by their mental anguish.

Step 10. Work the muscles of the face

The strangest and most ridiculous, but effective way to cope with the torment of the soul: vigorously chewing chewing gum. The fact is that suffering involves static "fading" and tension of the muscles, including the muscles of the face. Rhythmic and energetic movements of the jaws relieve the muscles of immobility, eliminating spasms.

If you cannot cure mental pain on your own, you should seek professional help from psychologists.

Article rating:

read also

A person would rather choose to experience suffering at the level of the body than to cope with spiritual experiences. When mental suffering sets in, a person wants to naturally get rid of them. However, to understand how to do this, it is necessary to understand the very concept of mental pain.

What is mental pain?

The online magazine site defines mental pain as excruciating, intense and insurmountable suffering that a person experiences at the emotional level. Some sages say that mental pain is much worse and more dangerous than physical pain. It causes such pains that are not comparable with pain during illness. It can also provoke the development of various diseases at the level of physiology.

Let's take a look at some of the most notable examples. For example, when a person goes through a breakup in a love relationship, they may lose their appetite. Isn't that indigestion! For example, when a person is afraid of something, he loses sleep.

Mental pain, which begins at the level, also affects the body, which can become ill or cease to function normally.

Moreover, mental pain is the result of a person's thoughts. There are no problems in nature. There are certain events that simply happen in the world that do not have a positive or negative color. And only a person sees problems in some of them. All this happens because he accepts some things and events, and some not. What a person calls a problem is actually a situation that is uncomfortable for him. He is uncomfortable, he does not want to get involved with something, which is why he calls a completely natural situation a problem.

This is not an imperfect person, but he himself or other people do not accept in him those qualities and features that are inherent in him. This is not a tragic event, but the person himself reacts to what is happening tragically, negatively, with tears.

All problems are in your head. Problems may not exist if you perceive everything that happens in a neutral or positive way. React to events that please you with a smile, and to unpleasant events as tasks that need to be solved. Failures are given to you as lessons that you need to parse, understand and solve in order to still get the desired result. Some events should simply be accepted as a fact. And the rest of the cases are given in order to gain experience, knowledge and wisdom.

There are just situations that may be uncomfortable for you. However, this does not make them problems to be avoided. You just need to see the situation with a sober look, impartially, to understand what result you still want to achieve compared to what you have on this moment, and begin to act in that direction to change the situation.

All problems are in your head. You create a problem from some situation with your screams, swearing and ultimatums. You do not solve a situation, but make a problem out of it, which other people should solve for you. By blaming someone for what you don't like and feel uncomfortable, you shift the responsibility from yourself to the guilty ones. You wait for the situation to resolve itself or through the actions of other people. And when will you learn to solve your "problems" yourself?

Problems are created by man. In nature, things just happen that can be unpleasant. But this is an occasion for finding a solution, and not for quarrels and. However, a person rarely adheres to the considered recommendations. He keeps creating problems in his head that cause him mental and emotional pain.

Thus, mental pain is indignation, rejection, resentment and other negative experiences that a person experiences when he disagrees with something. And in the world there are many events that a person may not like. Is it possible now to respond to every event with mental suffering? Only a person chooses how he feels and reacts in a situation that he does not like.

At the same time, massive propaganda is going on. The common man has always been programmed by the leaders of society. IN different times people are programmed for one thing, then for another. If earlier it was an honor to join the army and fight, today people understand that they are being used as slave labor. Leaders quarrel with each other, but fight simple people although it's not their fault.

At all times there was a programming for illness and misfortune. The common people cannot be happier, richer and healthier than their king/king/sovereign. That is why the majority lives in misery and poverty, because the king must excel his people. Unhappy people are easier to lead, manage, manipulate. Promise an unfortunate person to give a piece of happiness, and he will do everything you ask of him! This is the mechanism at work when individuals take advantage of the grief and misery of the majority.

First you need to make people sick and unhappy, then to control them! From childhood, every ordinary person is brought up. Sometimes even the parents themselves do not notice how they give their children false programs, which will then make them poor and unhappy. Any media sources are aimed at making a person mentally ill.

Day after day, from TV screens, you hear how wars are taking place, killings and people getting sick. From books, you read that you are sick with something or you can get sick if you do not take certain actions. Either you are advised to be sacrificial and helping, or you are programmed to desire to be free and independent. All this is programming.

“Abstaining from sex leads to frigidity/impotence”, “For a woman, the main thing is beauty”, “You need to have sex every day”, “A man is a breadwinner, and a woman is a keeper of the hearth”, etc. All these are destructive programs. People begin to love each other with a neurotic love. Men become public figures, and women become second-class people. Women are made tools in the hands of men, and men are programmed to have sex almost every hour. But excessive deplete the human body.

You are programmed for such a life when you will lead yourself to poverty, illness and misfortune by your own actions. For example, the usual expression “To get rich, you need to work more than 8 hours a day” does not lead to wealth. Such a program is beneficial to leaders, entrepreneurs, employers who will always be happy to hire people who will only work, not sleep and not eat. You won’t get rich this way, but you can please your bosses. Be vigilant and watch what phrases and beliefs you program yourself for mental suffering.

How to deal with mental pain?

Obviously, there are many reasons for the occurrence of mental pain. A person first of all begins to form it in his head when his ideas do not coincide with the real state of affairs or when he worries about his loved ones. All people can feel pain. But how to deal with it?

All people experience mental suffering in their own way:

1. Some are trying to suppress it. However, she goes into the subconscious, periodically reminding of herself, especially when events arise that hurt just as painfully.
2. Others talk about heartache, splash it out. Either they take out their anger on people or objects, or communicate with relatives, friends who support and help.
3. Still others are looking for a way to solve a situation that causes heartache. Perhaps this option to eliminate suffering is considered the most ideal.

How to get rid of mental pain?

If a person does not recognize the presence of mental pain, then he avoids it, and in fact it ceases to be on a conscious level. It goes into the subconscious, from where it periodically breaks out when a person again encounters events that hurt him mentally. Here you need to get rid of mental pain, and not avoid it.

If you drive the pain of the soul into the subconscious, then it will begin to change a person: his character, relationships with others, close him from new opportunities and acquaintances. A person will begin to relate differently to the world and people.

A person stops creating, being proactive, working and having a normal rest. While he is tormented by mental anguish, he is not able to live peacefully and enjoy life. All this happens at the level of emotions that control an adult and conscious person.

If you can’t cope with mental pain on your own, then the help of a psychologist is offered, which will help you understand the problem and eliminate it.

Heartache after a breakup

Another form of mental suffering is pain after separation. Both women and men can suffer. The departure or death of a loved one always causes resentment and other emotions that cause pain.

After a breakup, a person goes through the following stages:

1. Negation. First, a person denies the accomplishment of the event that does not please him. I don't want to believe what happened. The person still has hopes that it is still possible to return.
2. Resentment, hatred. When a person recognizes the existence of a separation, the departure of a loved one, he begins to look for the guilty. He blames himself, then the departed partner. Here hatred is manifested both to oneself and to a partner.
3. Pain. Tears, crying, humility and other experiences occur at the stage when a person accepts his problem. He learns to live in a new way, first experiencing acute emotions.

Severe mental pain

Mental pain is the result of thoughts and experiences that the person himself creates. To get rid of severe suffering, which is sometimes unbearable, you must follow one of the scenarios:

• Eliminate the cause of mental pain. For example, reconcile with a loved one if the pain is caused by his departure.
• Accept the situation, change your attitude and perception of it. If the problem cannot be fixed, then you should accept it and learn to live with it.

It is recommended not to run away from your own experiences. Emotions torment, but you should accept their presence. Then you should come to your senses and understand what is happening. Heartache is denial, rejection, resentment of a situation. What happens if emotions change?

Outcome of heartache

Heartache doesn't do any good. The sages say that a person grows and develops through suffering. but a common person often only further develops complexes and fears in himself based on the pain that he is experiencing. As a result, a person begins to run even faster from those situations that can cause unpleasant emotions.

You can get rid of mental pain only by willpower. Even when working with a psychologist, you will have to make an effort and feel the desire to get rid of suffering.

Heartache, suffering - this torment was experienced by every person. Resentment from betrayal, betrayal, injustice, grief, longing - all these feelings are associated with pain that cannot be relieved with the help of medicines.

Unfortunately, many people, seeking to get away from the pain that torments them, find themselves in the trap of addictions. This applies to alcohol, drugs, gambling addiction.

Running away from problems is for the weak. Sounds trite, but it's true. Most people who tend not to take responsibility for their lives, looking for the cause of failures and mental discomfort from the outside, cannot survive the slightest pain and do everything not to feel it, which only aggravates the situation.

On the other hand, mental pain pushes creative people to create masterpieces, for example, the most beautiful poems are written precisely in a state of mental anguish, looking for a way out.

What to do when the soul hurts?

Let's consider several possible situations when torment arises, and try to understand how spiritual wounds can be healed.

Hidden Benefit

Psychological work with the problem begins with the establishment of its cause. If you associate with people who constantly "hit" possible, you will not need psychotherapy. It will be enough to change your environment. But if you deliberately find yourself next to such people over and over again, it makes sense to think about why you need it. What pushes you to such "self-torture"? Is there any hidden benefit for you in this?

It often causes severe mental pain. In this case, the treatment will be useless as long as there is a need to achieve hidden goals. In order to identify them and review them.

Woe

Another common cause of mental pain is a prolonged experience, for example, from a person or from the loss of a close relative.

In these cases, the help of a psychologist is often necessary, but the person himself can take steps to get rid of the problem.

First, you don't need to fuel your memories by looking at pictures of people who have passed away or listening to sad music. Secondly, try to switch your attention to new activities, do what you like the most, and most importantly, do not be alone.

When experiencing grief, there is a period when you need to endure acute pain, let it go. A psychotherapist can help with this. If you are unable to forget the deceased person, try to mentally talk to him and say goodbye. Left alone, light a candle, think about the one who left, let him go internally, having made the decision to continue living. Very often, such a choice requires real courage.

bodily tension

Any phenomena of our consciousness, one way or another, are manifested at the bodily level. Acute mental pain leads to the appearance of areas of tension in the body, or muscle clamps. For example, a hunched, tense back, “hardened” shoulders, clenched jaws. Such manifestations are the result of restraint. Movement frees the body, returns life to it, and, as a result, mental pain ceases to be unbearable, it “dissolves” and gradually disappears. Try to move more, walk, play sports, even if at first it will be difficult for you to force yourself to devote time to this. This will help you deal with the pain.

Working with restraint

One often hears: "Do not keep grief in yourself, speak out, it will become easier for you." It really is. At the initial stage, a person needs to release negative emotions and share experiences with loved ones. If there is no one to talk to, you can do a simple job: take a piece of paper and write on it what worries you, torments you, what hurts your soul. If you write sincerely and do not hold back, you will quickly feel relief. This work is useful in that it helps to better understand oneself, and the experiences brought out to the outside no longer seem so terrible and insurmountable. By the way, after completion of the work, it is recommended to destroy the leaflet. For example, it can be burned. This symbolic action will help you let go negative emotions.

Defeat

Mental pain can also be caused by the experience of defeat in a matter that is very important for a person. In this case, the memories come back again and again, a feeling of shame arises, thoughts about what should have been done are tormented. Such a state of mind will be cured if a person finds the cause of his defeat and builds a different course of action. It is necessary to stop self-digging and understand what led to failure, and what qualities you need to change in yourself in order to avoid this in the future.

In general, the psychology of experiencing is built on looking for support in your mind, and only then work with feelings. is the master of himself and his life, which allows him to experience negative emotions without being captured by them. In addition, having learned to think and build our lives correctly, we begin to work for the future, excluding the appearance of mental pain and developing resistance to a variety of life circumstances.

Heartache allows you to gain new experience and maturity. The main thing is not to be afraid to live in the present in its entirety, rejoicing, sad, suffering, learning lessons and achieving new victories. After all, we all came into this world to experience the fullness of being, and not to hide in a cocoon of experiences. Think about it, you can live and continuously move forward, or you can “live”, that is, stay in place while life passes by. The choice is yours.