Bylina about school in a modern way. epic about what we do at school
Oh yes, Mother Russia! Oh yes, the country-breadwinner!
Strong to enemies to envy, beautiful to friends to joy, but glorious heroes!
And at that time lived in Russia, the St. Petersburg hero Putich Vladimir, light Vladimirovich.
He was famous for his heroic strength and military deeds and remarkable mind!
Yes, how hard times have come, but black clouds have come,
And over Russia the clouds were catching up with the infidel Obamka, with a black face and tongue-tied speeches.
He set his faithful dogs on the Russian state: Parashka and Yetska,
But nothing happened with Obama: the Russian people, led by the hero Putich, were not afraid.
Then the Basurman decided: “Since it didn’t work out by force, I’ll take it with starvation!”
Yes, he ordered the sanctions to be introduced, the sanctions are fierce, unfair!
And the bogatyrs and sovereigns of the west bowed before the terrible Obama.
Yes, the Russian hero was not at a loss, but in the East he found allies,
And the Russian state became even stronger!
And strong, mighty heroes in glorious Russia!
Don't let the enemies ride on our land, don't trample the Russian land with their horses!
Do not overshadow our red sun!
Russia stands for a century - it does not stagger, and it will stand for centuries - it does not move!
Whether from that city and from St. Petersburg
Born was a remote guy, a remote guy, but named Volodya.
He possessed Silushka from birth, but he was ready to stand up for his homeland right away.
The time has come for Mother Russia dark,
Ay, black-black, like a black crow:
Officials, how to feed a wolf, stole all the money from the treasury,
Yes, they sent all their children to overseas countries,
And they built mansions for themselves, and they live happily ever after,
But the Russian people were meek, they endured in silence.
Here grew up a remote young man, named Volodya,
The people saw him, trusted him and put forward Russia to govern.
For a long time the young man got used to all the royal luxury,
Yes, Vladimir did not need her, but the world-order was legal.
Here he climbed on the back of a brown bear,
Yes, he took a tight bow, but pulled the string tightly,
Yes, how he shot, but how he pulnul.
All the unclean official men were frightened, fled,
They went to a foreign land to the children,
From that time on, they were never seen again by the people.
Since then, all overseas countries have envied Russia,
But the times have come for Mother Russia dark,
Ay, black-black, like a black crow!
The black man said a nasty tale about Russia,
Yes, he spoke to the whole world,
And those ears hung, they believed.
Here the dollar and the euro have risen like a falcon in the sky,
And the price of estushka jumps up, and under the sanctions everyone succumbs.
How Volodya saw this, but got angry,
Yes, a great power came to him, such was not born.
He jumped across the Pacific Ocean, but he got to America,
Yes, he showed his heroic strength, but he did not beat him with a club, but with a righteous word.
The Black Man was afraid of the angry word. Yes, the words of the right,
Reduced the ardor of his enemy, anger, envy.
Pryumok, calmed down and ordered his friends:
“Do not go to war with Russia, do not look at her wealth,
And then the hero will come quickly, save Mother Russia, and
You, my faithful dogs, will be bad!”
As in the city in Voronezh, but on the street on Zagorodnya,
There are gray-stone chambers, they are called school 51.
There is a director at that school, Viktor Svet Viktorovich,
He sits in the office, he thinks, he thinks the hardest thought:
How could the school be more beautiful than ever, how could children be taught better than before?
And the kids in that school are apparently invisible!
All classes live like beehives.
And one of them is called 7 A, the one that is famous for many.
Good fellows and beautiful girls study there.
Well, they have a wonderful class: a glorious maiden, moderately strict,
And she is wise in her native language and in grammar.
Knowledge from children requires yes sentences:
“Study, kids, and get good grades, so that Russia is famous for its smart little heads!”
Everything would be fine in this class, good, good, but not very good!
We have damned loafers, they study poorly, they love to write off.
They boast of boasting, they boast of the strength of the valiant,
Red girls are being beaten up, school discipline is being violated!
Natalya Svet Vladimirovna tells them these are the words:
“Oh, you goy, good fellows, good fellows, yes, seventh graders!
Do not be "Siberian felt boots", your generation is smart,
Oh yes smart, yes beautiful! Do not shame him with your laziness,
With his laziness and immeasurable boasting!
Get better mind-mind!”
The good fellows thought, thought, but decided to correct themselves right there,
Immediately correct and be glorified in the whole world of God!
And then the school will reward them, it will appease them with diplomas and medals!
To everyone's joy, to the envy of other schools.
It was the second day of spring.
It was evening, there was nothing. In front of me sat my losers and blunted over the epic. (I gave the task to compose an epic according to all the laws of the genre, and said that I wouldn’t give a trimester grade without this) I was lazy to check notebooks, and I was also stupid over them, like my boobies over an epic. And then one of them declared on his own head that, they say, even I, the great and mighty one, would not be able to write a draft of an epic in the allotted time.
In general, we argued that in the allotted time I would write an epic about those five fellows who are sitting in front of me.
And I did it in such a way that I liked it myself ...
Here.
Bylina about how glorious the heroes of the 6th "B" class defeated Yulia Ilsurovna
As in the capital city in Muscovy
Yes, near Vernadsky Avenue
At school 324 in glorious,
What is popularly called the "Firebird"
Five wonderful knights lived.
Oh yes, the guys were great!
And the mind is sharp, and talents.
Yes, and heroic silushki.
(Ilya Muromets would not have coped!)
lived a long time they do not know troubles
Yes, in that glorious Firebird school.
Once a terrible monster got into the habit of them
By the name of Volokashiche
Yes, by name (horror!) Just Julia!
Yes, not just - but Ilsurovna
(Odikhmantiev's son's great-granddaughter).
This is where this monster came in.
Set deuces and spoil diaries
that neither alive nor dead all around lie.
Yes, and in the classroom she littered,
That the people drowned in the mud,
Yes, and ruined the whole board -
Do not wash now yes a hundred years of her!
Here are gathered and glorious fellows,
Glorious fellows - falcons are clear.
The first fellow was called Misha
Yes, nicknamed our most beautiful.
Yes, the other two are the strongest
Light - Andrey and Kolya with him - his friend,
I will say one thing about Alim and Oleg -
They were very thoughtful - yes!
Apparently they were the smartest.
Yes, we decided to keep the council
How to get rid of a scary monster
Terrible Julia,
So they decided that in arms
The power of this beast is terrible.
Yes, they decided to steal the magazine
Yes, burn in the oven, but in a clean field
Surrender to the violent winds.
Yes, they decided a red pen
Destroy and cook in a black cauldron,
And eat for lunch instead of dinner.
They were going on a hike for three days,
We thought for a long time how to distract the scary monster,
How to steal scary weapons.
They took backpacks, they are marching,
Saddled the heroic horses
Yes, we went to the battlefield.
Yes, they turned on the music
Very loud, disco.
They distracted a terribly monster
Odikhmantiev's son's great-granddaughter.
Yes, she was worn around the class,
Yes, I forgot my weapon.
All performed by good fellows,
All performed as intended.
The next day, early in the morning
They rushed to school.
Look - yes, the monster took up his own
Even worse than before.
Yes, red pens are sketched,
Yes, there are already three new magazines.
The good fellows began to gather,
Yes, think again,
How to get rid of the terrible monster Julia
By the name of Volokashishche -
Odikhmantiev's son's great-granddaughter.
And they decided to mess around
Shout to shout and do not do homework.
They destroyed all their notebooks,
Yes, the wind of the steppe dispelled.
In the diaries, yes, the fives were instructed,
Signed, hid behind the stove.
Now a terrible monster will not find,
Odikhmantiev's son's great-granddaughter.
All performed as intended.
Only a monster for his again,
Even worse, worse than before.
Threw them black slippers,
I piled up a report on them,
Yes, I called my parents
threatened with bloody reprisals.
They gathered again to hold a council.
They invited the red-maiden,
Red-maiden and wise.
The girl was called Ksyusha,
Yes, I laughed at the falcons.
She spoke these words to them:
It will not help, they say, evil from evil.
You need to overcome evil with good.
Yes, you take a notebook,
Write all the tasks there
Show her your knowledge.
And he starts screaming - answer,
When leaving, wipe the board with a rag,
Not just like that, but straight to the point.
And take your papers with you.
Let her die clean.
All performed as intended
Only the monster did not get angry.
Smiled at everyone, said hello,
Treated everyone to tea with gingerbread,
She spoke kind words to them
The speeches are gentle, yes these are the words:
“Oh, well done, the falcons are clear!
Yes, they amused, they say, in old age.
Oh thank you so much!
We will live - do not grieve,
Let's be friends with each other"
She gave all fives,
And sent home to rest.
"EPIC ABOUT WHAT WE DO AT SCHOOL"
In the glorious in the Donskoy
There is a gymnasium and Krasnogvardeyskaya
Well done live in it,
Well done and beautiful girls.
Learn the mind.
They play during breaks
They do not get bored, they boast of boasting
Another boasts of a luxurious house,
Another boasts of strength, good luck,
Clever boasts of a glorious middle name
Glorious patronymic, young youth
Hit on a big bet
Somehow the fellow began to boast:
Hey, you are great
As I know a miraculous miracle in the Tok River
And there is a fish with a hand in the Tok River.
As here the good fellows say these words:
- You do not know the miracle of the miraculous,
There can't be a fish with a hand in the Tok River.
Hey, you are great
What are you betting with me about the big bet
I'll pawn my pens, pens are new, not cheap
And you pledge ten rubles from each.
So they argued, and the next day they forgot.
Everyone in the school is clever
At 
the readers are all good, the classes are spacious,
Spacious and tidy.
This is how we live - live
In the glorious Donskoy!
"EPIC ABOUT THE SCHOOL OF THE RELATED"
As in the Donskoy, then the native village
A gymnasium is rising, but it is the first in the region!
Mind is famous for goodness.
Good fellows study at this school,
Children in the gymnasium
smart and smart,
All know and decide
Know about a lot in the world
And the headmistress in this school is just a feast for the eyes,
What not to say in a fairy tale, not to describe with a pen.
He awards his children with medals and certificates.
Teachers, then we have the prettiest,
Lovely, kind and a little strict.
As in the schoolyard, then the site
Work and good fellows and red girls,
Take care of the school dear
And people admire the bright school!
"EPIC ON DUTY YES WONDERFUL"
When the red sun shone
Whether to the sky, to the clear,
Then woke up, good fellows,
Good fellows and red girls.
Wake up, good fellows,
They were going to school
To a wonderful school.
They were going to school
Yes, they forgot to change shoes.
How did they go for an hour,
After all, another hour passed,
Couldn't get to school.
After all, the third hour passed,
Got to school
To school to beautiful.
And at the school there was something on duty,
The attendant is evil and very terrible.
Good fellows approached him,
Good fellows and red girls,
C 
barely a dozen.
How did the duty officer become here
Good fellows and red maidens
Send them home for shoes
For shoes and for a change.
Good fellows returned,
Good fellows and red girls,
Returned home and for shoes,
For shoes and for a change.
Good fellows came again,
Good fellows and red girls
To school in a beautiful
With shoes and with a change.
Then the attendant began to treat them with sweets
One hundred each.
Good fellows and beautiful girls went to school
They began to praise the officer on duty:
“The duty officer at our school is wonderful”
As it rose above the Krasnogvardeisky district
The sun is red on either the clear sky.
Good fellows and beautiful girls gathered,
To the gymnasium in the light,
yes, double storey
And the director in it is Nadezhda daughter Vasilievna.
The person in the school is the first, the person in the school is important.
She thinks all the thought, but heavy,
How would the school be more and more beautiful,
How would the kids be so smarter and smarter.
And the head teacher here is a glorious maiden,
My name is Marina Alexandrovna.
And she is wise in her native language,
In the native language, yes grammar.
And there are teachers in that school,
Oh, and smart and hospitable,
Yes, everyone is strict, they require knowledge,
Yes they say:
“You study at school and get good grades,
And then there will be no smart little heads left in Russia.
After all, good fellows study at this school, and girls are red.
The children in the gymnasium are all smart and smart,
Everyone knows how and decide about a lot of things in the world they know.
The school differs in results
Rewarding his children
Medals and certificates.
And all because
Our teachers are the nicest
Lovely, kind and a little strict. We want to tell you something about our teachers:
Well, we want to wish you all -
So that you bring up a generation of beautiful, smart,
To the delight of everyone and without any big problems!
Family and school - what to divide us ...
We simply cannot live without you!
- Creative success!
-Smart students!
-Good health!
It was in the glorious city of Murom, at school number six.
Yes, there was a class there and the sixth. And the good fellows and the red girls gathered there. And those girls are good both in face and article. Yes, but those fellows were not portly. Yes, they were weak in body, but not brave in spirit. And they wanted to become remote, good fellows.
And they heard about the glorious teacher, so that she could teach them physical culture. Yes, they came to that girl with a bow, and asked for the teachings of the wise. And she accepted them as her disciples.
Day after day, as it rains, week after week, as the river runs, so day from morning to evening, and another day from morning to victory, the little ones got up, but on frisky legs, and waved dumbbells, but the strength of the heroic gained.
Yes, they could walk like a pike-fish in the blue seas, fly like a falcon under the cloud, roam like a wolf in clean fields.
May they become a good warrior, and glorious heroes of Holy Russia. May they now bring benefit to their glorious land, and to their glorious city of Murom.
***
On the banks of the Oka River stands the ancient Murom-grad. Yes, there is a new school in that city, school number 6. Yes, there is a class in this school, but the class is not simple, gymnasium. Children here are like children, noisy, loud, brave and friendly. Children learn differently, they study for fives and fours. They learned to read and write a long time ago - to write and count, and to read books. There are strong children, strong and fast. And their favorite lesson was physical education. You don't have to think much, you have to jump and run a lot. Once they were offered to speak for the honor of the class. The daring fellows gathered, became thoughtful, and invited red maidens to the council. They decided not to lose face, to protect the honor of the class. They gave all their strength, helped each other, and protected each other. They won that unequal battle, for which they were awarded letters of thanks. Yes, they praised the 6th grade, and the gymnasium class, all the participants in the competition, and the teachers. And the administration too!
***
Whether from that city from Murom,
From the same street from Komsomolskaya,
Where school number 6 stood for many years.
At that school the girls studied braids are long,
Good fellows with heroic strength.
Pupils there are apparently invisible,
There were a lot of classes.
The most stately class is 6G.
There were 14 red girls
And 13 fine fellows.
They were powerful in mind
Shabutny are strong and viscous.
And they didn't mind eating.
Lesson sit, chairs creak,
The sun is higher than the trees
And they all creak with chairs.
The third lesson is drawing to a close.
There is a rumbling of the stomach,
Hungry fire burns in the eyes.
And the teachers are starting to get scared.
Suddenly, like a bolt from the blue, a bell rang.
Hungry children started,
Dropped pens and pens
And they rushed to the school tavern.
6G is rushing - the walls are trembling,
Glasses are ringing
Dust curls from under your feet.
Yes, oncoming-transverse ones run off to the sides.
They flew like crows on food,
They knock with spoons, gnaw crusts.
In the blink of an eye, they ate the whole meal.
And then grace came
Everyone is full, happy and lazy.
Illness and healing of Ilya Muromets
Near the city of Murom, in the suburban village of Karacharovo, a long-awaited son was born to a peasant Ivan Timofeevich and his wife Efrosinya Polikarpovna. Elderly parents are happy, happy. They gathered guests from all the volosts for the christening, pulled apart the tables and brought refreshments - a feast in honor. They named their son Ilya. Ilya, son Ivanovich.
Ilya grows by leaps and bounds, as if the dough on the dough is rising. Elderly parents look at their son, rejoice, they do not feel troubles or hardships. And the trouble unexpectedly, unexpectedly came to them. Ilya's frisky legs were taken away, and the strong guy stopped walking. Sidnam is sitting in a hut. Parents grieve, grieve, look at the wretched son, shed tears. What are you going to do? Neither sorcerers-sorcerers, nor healers can cure the disease. So a year has passed, and another has passed. Time passes quickly, like a river flows. For thirty years, and even three years, Ilya sat motionless in the hut.
In the spring, the parents left early in the morning to burn, to uproot the stumps, to prepare the land for new arable land, and Ilya sits on an oak bench, guarding the house, as before.
Suddenly: knock-break. What's happened? He looked out into the yard, and there were three old men - the passers-by were standing, tapping on the wall with sticks:
- We got tired on the way, and we are thirsty, and people said that you have foamy, cold mash in your cellar. Bring me, Ileyushka, that brew to quench our thirst, and drink it yourself to your health!
- We have a mash in the cellar, but there is no one to go. I am sick, immovable. Frisky legs do not listen to me, and I have been sitting for thirty-three years, - Ilya replies.
“And you get up, Ilya, don’t hesitate,” the Kaliki say.
Storozhko Ilya rose to his feet and was amazed: his legs obey. A step took a step and another took a step... And then he grabbed a half-bucket valley and quickly poured mash in the cellar. He took the valley out onto the porch and does not believe himself: “Is it really possible that I, like all people, began to control my legs?”
Passers-by from that valley sipped the Kaliki and said:
“And now, Ileyushka, drink it yourself!”
Ilya drank mash and felt how
strength flows into it.
“Drink, well done, more,” the strangers tell him.
Ilya kissed the valley another time. Passers-by ask Kaliki:
Do you feel, Ilya, a change in yourself?
“I feel an incalculable strength in myself,” Ilya answers. “There is such power-mightiness in me now that if there were a pillar firmly driven in, I would grab it and turn mother earth over. That's what power I poured!
Kaliki looked at each other and said:
- Drink, Ileyushka, the third time!
Ilya drank the third sip of the mash. Strangers ask:
Do you feel any change in yourself?
- I feel, my strengths have become half! - answered Ilya Ivanovich.
“If your strength had not diminished,” the wanderers say, “the mother earth would not have been able to carry you. And the strength that is, will get from you. You will become the most powerful hero in Russia, and death is not written for you in battle. Buy from the first person you meet at the marketplace tomorrow a shaggy little foal, and you will have a faithful heroic horse. In your strength, stock up your heroic equipment and serve the Russian people faithfully.
Passersby Kaliki said goodbye to Ilya and disappeared, as if they were not there.
And Ilya hurries to please his parents. From the stories he knew where they worked. The old people fell, burned and got tired, lay down to rest. The son did not wake up, disturb his father and mother. He himself turned all the stumps and roots and dragged them to the side, loosened the earth, even now pasha and this one. Ivan and Efrosinya have woken up and cannot believe their eyes. “Overnight, ours fell from the roots, cleared from the stumps, became smooth, even, even a rolled egg. And we would have that job for a week!” And they were even more surprised when they saw their son Ilya: a good fellow was standing in front of them, smiling. Stately, portly, light-joyful. Laughing and crying mother and father.
“That’s our joy, our consolation! Our clear falcon Ileyushka has recovered! Now there is someone to look after our old age!
Ilya Ivanovich told about the healing, bowed low to his parents and said:
- Bless, father and mother, to carry out my heroic service! I will go to the capital city of Kiev, and then to the outpost of the heroic our land to defend.
The old people heard such a speech, they were saddened, grieved. And then Ivan Timofeevich said:
“It’s not fate, it’s clear that we should look at you and rejoice if you chose a warrior’s share for yourself, and not a peasant’s. It is not easy for us to part with you, but there is nothing to do. For good deeds, for the faithful service of the people, my mother and I give you a blessing, so that you serve, do not prevaricate!
Early the next morning, Ilya bought a foal, a shaggy fledgling, and began to nurse him. He stocked up all the heroic armor, redid all the hard work around the house.
And the ugly shaggy foal at that time grew up, became a mighty heroic horse.
Ilya saddled a good horse, dressed himself in heroic armor, said goodbye to his father and mother and left his native village of Karacharov.
Ilya Muromets and the Nightingale the Robber
Early, early, Ilya left Murom, and he wanted to get to the capital Kievgrad by lunchtime. His frisky horse gallops a little lower than a walking cloud, higher than a standing forest. And quickly, soon the hero drove up to the city of Chernigov. And near Chernigov there is an uncountable enemy force. There is no pedestrian or horseback access. The enemy hordes are approaching the fortress walls, they are thinking of capturing and devastating Chernigov. Ilya drove up to the myriad rati and began to beat the rapists-invaders, like mowing grass. And with a sword, and a spear, and a heavy club, and a heroic horse tramples enemies. And soon he nailed, trampled down that great enemy force.
The gates in the fortress wall opened, Chernigov citizens came out, bowed low to the hero and called him the governor in Chernigov - city.
- Thank you for the honor, peasants of Chernigov, but it’s not for me to sit as governor in Chernigov, - answered Ilya Muromets. - I'm in a hurry to the capital Kiev-grad. Show me the right way!
“You are our redeemer, glorious Russian hero, the straight road to Kiev-grad has become overgrown, muraved. The detour is now walked on foot and ridden on horseback. Near the Black Dirt, near the Smorodinka River, the Nightingale the Robber, Odikhmantyev's son, settled. The robber sits on twelve oaks. The villain whistles like a nightingale, screams like an animal, and from the whistle of a nightingale and from the cry of an animal grass-ant all withered, azure flowers crumble, dark forests bend to the ground, and people lie dead! Don't take that road glorious hero!
Ilya did not listen to the Chernigovites, he went straight on the road. He drives up to the Smorodinka River and to the Black Mud. The Nightingale the Robber noticed him and began to whistle like a nightingale, shouted like an animal, the villain hissed like a snake. The grass withered, the flowers crumbled, the trees bowed to the ground, the horse under Ilya began to stumble.
The hero got angry, swung a silk whip at the horse.
- What are you, a wolf's satiety, a bag of grass, began to stumble? Have you not heard, apparently, the whistle of a nightingale, the thorn of a snake, and the cry of an animal?
He himself grabbed a tight, explosive bow and shot at the Nightingale the Robber, wounded the right eye and right hand of the monster, and the villain fell to the ground. The bogatyr fastened the robber to the saddle pommel and drove the Nightingale across the open field past the nightingale's lair. The sons and daughters saw how they were carrying their father, tied to a saddle pommel, grabbed swords and horns, ran to rescue the Nightingale the Robber. And Ilya scattered them, scattered them and, without delay, began to continue his path.
Ilya came to the capital city of Kiev, to the wide court of the prince. And the glorious Prince Vladimir Krasno Solnyshko with his kneeling princes, with honorable boyars and mighty bogatyrs, had just sat down at the dinner table.
Ilya put his horse in the middle of the yard, he himself entered the dining room. He laid the cross in the written way, bowed to the four sides in a learned way, and to the Great Prince himself in person.
Prince Vladimir began to ask:
- Where are you from, good fellow, what is your name, called by your patronymic?
- I am from the city of Murom, from the suburban village of Karacharova, Ilya Muromets.
- How long ago, good fellow, left Murom?
“Early in the morning I left Murom,” answered Ilya, “I wanted to be in time for mass in Kiev-grad, but on the road, I hesitated on the way. And I was driving along a straight road past the city of Chernigov, past the Smorodinka River and Black Mud.
The prince frowned, frowned, looked unkindly:
- You, peasant peasant, are mocking us in the face! An enemy army stands near Chernigov - an innumerable force, and there is no passage or passage for either foot or horsemen. And from Chernigov to Kiev, the straight road has long been overgrown, covered with murals. Near the river Smorodinka and Black Mud, the robber Nightingale, the son of Odikhmant, sits on twelve oaks, and does not let foot or horse through. Even a falcon can't fly there!
Ilya Muromets answers those words:
- Near Chernigov, the enemy army is all beaten and fought, and the Nightingale the robber is wounded in your yard, strapped to the saddle.
Prince Vladimir jumped out from behind the table, threw a marten fur coat over one shoulder, a sable hat over one ear, ran out onto the red porch, saw the Nightingale the Robber, strapped to the saddle pommel:
- Whistle, Nightingale, like a nightingale, scream, dog, like an animal, hiss, robber, like a snake!
“It’s not you, prince, who captured me, defeated me. I won, Ilya Muromets captivated me. And I will not listen to anyone but him.
“Order, Ilya Muromets,” says Prince Vladimir, “to whistle, shout, hiss at the Nightingale!”
Ilya Muromets ordered:
- Whistle, Nightingale, half a whistle of a nightingale, scream half a cry of an animal, hiss a half a thorn of a snake!
“From the bloody wound,” the Nightingale says, “my mouth is dry. You ordered me to pour a cup of green wine for me, not a small cup - one and a half buckets, and then I will amuse Prince Vladimir.
They brought the nightingale the robber a glass of green wine. The villain took the chara with one hand, drank the chara for a single spirit. After that, he whistled in a full whistle like a nightingale, shouted in a full cry like an animal, hissed in a full thorn like a snake. Here the domes on the towers grimaced, and the knees in the towers crumbled, all the people who were in the yard lay dead. Vladimir, the prince of Stolnokievsky, hides himself with a marten coat and crawls around.
Ilya Muromets got angry. He mounted a good horse, took the Nightingale the Robber into the open field:
- You've got to kill people! - And cut off the Nightingale's wild head.
So much the Nightingale the Robber lived in the world. That's where the story about him ended.
Ilya Muromets and Poor Idolishche
Once Ilya Muromets left far from Kiev in an open field, in a wide expanse. I shot geese, swans and gray ducks there. On the way he met the elder Ivanishche - a cross-country Kalika. Ilya asks:
— How long have you been from Kiev?
- Recently I was in Kiev. There, Prince Vladimir and Apraksia are in trouble. There were no heroes in the city, and the filthy Idolishche arrived. As tall as a haystack, eyes like bowls, a slanting sazhen in the shoulders. Lounging, he sits in the prince's chambers, treats himself, shouts at the prince and princess: “Give it, bring it!” And there is no one to defend them.
“Oh, old Ivanishche,” says Ilya Muromets, “after all, you are burlier and stronger than me, only you don’t have the courage and the grip!” You take off your kaliche dress, we will exchange clothes for a while.
Ilya dressed up in a caliche dress, came to Kiev to the princely court and cried out in a loud voice:
- Give, prince, a almsman to a passer-by!
"What are you yelling at, you bastard?! Enter the dining room. I want to chat with you! shouted the filthy Idolish through the window.
The hero entered the room, stood at the lintel. The prince and princess did not recognize him. And Idolishche, lounging, sits at the table, grinning:
- Have you seen, Kalika, the hero Ilyushka of Muromets? What is his height, stature? Do you eat and drink a lot?
- Ilya Muromets is just like me in height and stature. He eats a loaf of bread a day. Green wine, standing beer drinks a cup a day, and that's what happens.
- What kind of hero is he? Idolishche laughed, grinned. - Here I am a hero - at once I eat a fried bull - a three-year-old, I drink a barrel of green wine. When I meet Ileyka, the Russian hero, I will put him in the palm of my hand, I will slam the other, and there will be dirt and water from him!
To that boast, the cross-eyed Kalika answers:
- Our priest also had a gluttonous pig. She ate and drank a lot until she vomited.
Those speeches did not fall in love with Idolisch. He threw a yard-long damask knife at him, but Ilya Muromets was evasive, dodged the knife.
The knife stuck into the doorway, the doorway flew out with a crash in the canopy.
Here Ilya Muromets, in lapotochki and in a calico dress, grabbed the filthy Idolish, raised him above his head and threw the braggart-rapist on the brick floor. So much Idolishche has been alive. And the glory of the mighty Russian hero is sung forever and ever.
Ilya Muromets and Kalin Tsar
Prince Vladimir started a feast of honors and did not call Ilya of Muromets. The hero took offense at the prince; he went out into the street, pulled a tight bow, began to shoot at the church silver domes, at the gilded crosses and shouted to the peasants of Kiev: “Collect the gilded crosses and silver church domes, bring them to the circle - to the drinking house. Let's start our feast-table for all the peasants of Kiev!
Prince Vladimir Stolnokievsky was angry, ordered to put Ilya Muromets in a deep cellar for three years.
And the daughter of Vladimir ordered to make the keys to the cellar and, secretly from the prince, ordered to feed and water the glorious hero.
How much, how little time has passed, a messenger rode to Kiev from Tsar Kalin. He waved the doors wide open, without asking he ran into the prince's tower, threw a messenger letter to Vladimir. And in the letter it is written: “I order you, Prince Vladimir, to quickly clear the streets of the Streltsy and the large courtyards of the princes and guide all the streets and lanes of foamy beer, standing mead and green wine, so that my army would have something to treat themselves to in Kiev. If you don't follow orders, blame yourself. I will shake Russia with fire, I will destroy Kiev-city and put you and the princess to death. I give you three days."
Prince Vladimir read the letter, grieved, saddened. He walks around the upper room, sheds burning tears:
- Oh, why did I put Ilya Muromets in a deep cellar and ordered that cellar to be covered with sand! Go, is our defender not alive now? And there are no other heroes in Kiev now. And there is no one to stand up for the faith, for the Russian land, no one to stand up for the capital city, to defend me with the princess and my daughter!
“Father-prince of Stolnokievsky, they didn’t order me to be executed, let me say a word,” Vladimir’s daughter said. - Our Ilya Muromets is alive and well. I secretly gave water to you, fed him, cared for him.
“You are clever, you are intelligent,” Prince Vladimir praised his daughter.
He grabbed the key to the cellar and ran after Ilya Muromets himself. He brought him to the white-stone chambers, hugged, kissed the hero, treated him with sugar dishes, gave him overseas wines, spoke these words:
- Don't be angry, Ilya Muromets! Let what was between us bylyom grow. We've been hit by misfortune. The dog approached the capital city of Kiev Kalin - king, brought countless hordes. Russia is threatening to ruin, to roll with fire, to ruin Kiev-city, to capture all the people of Kiev, and now there are no heroes. Everyone is standing at the outposts and has gone on patrols. I have all my hope for you alone, hero Ilya Muromets!
Once Ilya Muromets cool off, treat himself at the princely table. He soon went to his yard.
The heroic horse, well-fed, smooth, well-groomed, neighed joyfully when he saw the owner.
Ilya Muromets said to his parobka:
- Thank you for grooming the horse, taking care of it!
And he began to saddle the horse. First he put on a sweatshirt, and on the sweatshirt he put felt, on the felt a Cherkassy unsupported saddle. He tightened twelve silk girths with damask studs, with red gold buckles, not for beauty, for pleasing, for the sake of a heroic fortress: silk girths stretch, do not tear, damask steel bends, does not break, and red gold buckles do not rust. Ilya himself was equipped with heroic battle armor. He had a damask mace with him, a long spear, girded a battle sword, grabbed a road shalyga and drove out into an open field. He sees that there are many Tatar forces near Kiev. From the cry of a man and from the neighing of a horse, the human heart desponds. Wherever you look, nowhere can you see the end-edge of the force-hordes of the enemy.
Ilya Muromets rode out, climbed a high hill, he looked towards the east and saw white-linen tents far, far away in an open field. He directed there, urged the horse, and said: “It can be seen that our Russian heroes are standing there, they don’t know about adversity.”
And soon he drove up to the white-linen tents, went into the tent of the greatest hero Samson Samoylovich, his godfather. And the heroes at that time dined. Ilya Muromets spoke:
“Bread and salt, Holy Russian heroes!”
Samson Samoylovich answered:
- And come on, perhaps, our glorious hero Ilya Muromets! Sit down with us to taste the bread and salt!
Then the heroes got to their feet, they greeted Ilya Muromets, hugged him, invited him to the table.
Thank you, brothers of the cross. I didn’t come to dine, but I brought joyless, sad news, ”Ilya Muromets said. - There is an army near Kiev - an innumerable force. The dog Kalin-Tsar is threatening to take and burn our capital city, cut down all the peasants, steal their wives and daughters in full, ruin the churches, bring Prince Vladimir and Princess Apraksia to an evil death. And I came to call you to fight with the enemy!
The heroes answered those speeches: - We, Ilya Muromets, will not saddle horses, we will not go to fight, fight for Prince Vladimir and Princess Apraksia. They have many close princes and boyars. Grand Duke Stolnokievsky waters and feeds them and favors them, but we have nothing from Vladimir and Apraksia Korolyovichnaya. Do not persuade us, Ilya Muromets!
Ilya Muromets did not like those speeches. He mounted his good horse and rode up to the hordes of the enemy. He began to trample on the strength of the enemy with a horse, stab with a spear, chop with a sword and beat with a roadside shalyga.
Beats, strikes tirelessly. And the heroic horse under him spoke in human language:
- Do not beat you, Ilya Muromets, enemy forces. Tsar Kalin has mighty heroes and daring meadows1, and deep digs have been dug in the open field. As soon as we sit down in the digs, I will jump out of the first dig and I will jump out of the other dig and I will carry you out, Ilya, and I will even jump out of the third dig, but I won’t be able to carry you out.
Ilya did not like those speeches. He raised a silk whip, began to beat the horse on the hips, saying:
“Oh, you traitorous dog, wolf meat, grass sack! I feed, sing you, take care of you, and you want to destroy me!
And then the horse with Ilya sank into the first dig. From there, the faithful horse jumped out, carried the hero on himself. And again the hero began to beat the enemy force, like mowing grass. And another time the horse with Ilya sank into a deep dig. And from this tunnel a frisky horse carried the hero. Beats Ilya Muromets Tatars, says:
- Do not go yourself and order your children and grandchildren to go to fight in Great Russia forever and ever.
At that time, they sank with the horse into the third deep dig. His faithful horse jumped out of the tunnel, but Ilya Muromets could not bear it. The Tatars ran to catch the horse, but the faithful horse did not give up, he galloped far into the open field. Then dozens of heroes, hundreds of warriors attacked Ilya Muromets in a dig, tied him up, handcuffed him, and brought him to the tent to Tsar Kalin. Kalin-Tsar met him affectionately and affably, ordered to untie-unchain the hero:
- Sit down, Ilya Muromets, with me, Tsar Kalin, at a single table, eat whatever your heart desires, drink my honey drinks. I will give you precious clothes, I will give you, as necessary, a golden treasury. Do not serve Prince Vladimir, but serve me, Tsar Kalin, and you will be my neighbor boyar prince!
Ilya Muromets looked at Tsar Kalin, grinned unkindly and said:
“I won’t sit at the same table with you, I won’t eat your dishes, I won’t drink your honey drinks, I don’t need precious clothes, I don’t need countless golden treasuries. I will not serve you - the dog Tsar Kalin! And henceforth I will faithfully defend, defend Great Russia, stand for the capital city of Kiev, for my people and for Prince Vladimir. And I’ll tell you more: you’re stupid, the dog Kalin-tsar, if you think in Russia to find traitors-defectors!
He swung open the carpet-curtain door and jumped out of the tent. And there the guards, the royal guards, fell on Ilya Muromets in a cloud: some with shackles, some with ropes, they get on with tying up the unarmed.
Yes, it was not there! The mighty hero tensed up, tensed up: he scattered, scattered the infidels and slipped through the enemy force-army into an open field, into a wide expanse.
He whistled with a heroic whistle, and, out of nowhere, his faithful horse came running with armor and equipment. Ilya Muromets rode out to a high hill, pulled a tight bow and sent a red-hot arrow, he himself said: “You fly, red-hot arrow, into the white tent, fall, arrow, on the white chest of my godfather, slip and make a small scratch. He will understand: it can be bad for me alone in battle. An arrow hit Samson's tent. Samson the hero woke up, jumped up on frisky legs and shouted in a loud voice:
“Get up, mighty Russian heroes!” An arrow flew from the godson of a kalena - bad news: he needed help in the battle with the Saracens. In vain, after all, he would not have sent an arrow. You saddle, without delay, good horses, and we will go to fight not for the sake of Prince Vladimir, but for the sake of the Russian people and to the rescue of the glorious Ilya Muromets!
Soon twelve heroes jumped to the rescue, and Ilya Muromets with them in the thirteenth. They pounced on the hordes of the enemy, nailed down, trampled down all the innumerable force with their horses, took Tsar Kalin himself in full, brought them to the chambers of Prince Vladimir. And Kalin the king spoke:
“Do not execute me, Prince Vladimir of Stolnokievsky, I will pay tribute to you and order my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren not to go to Russia with a sword forever, but to live in peace with you. In that we will sign the letter.
Here the old-fashioned epic ended, the blue sea to silence, and kind people to obedience.
Three trips of Ilya Muromets
An old Cossack, Ilya Muromets, rode across an open field, across a wide expanse, and ran into a fork in three roads. There is a combustible stone at the fork, and on the stone the inscription is written: “If you go straight, you will be killed, if you go to the right, you will be married, and if you go to the left, you will become rich.” Ilya read the inscription and became thoughtful:
“For me, an old man, death is not written in battle. Let me go where to be killed.
How long, how short he was driving, thieves-robbers jumped out onto the road. Three hundred plantains. They bawl, they wave shalygas.
Let's kill the old man and rob him!
“Stupid people,” says Ilya Muromets, “without killing the bear, divide the skin.
And he unleashed his faithful horse on them. He himself stabbed with a spear and smashed with a sword, and not a single murderer-robber remained alive.
He returned to the fork and erased the inscription: "If you go straight, you will be killed." He stood near the stone and turned the horse to the right:
“There’s no need for me, an old man, to be married, but I’ll go and see how people get married.”
I drove for an hour or two and ran into the white-stone chambers.
A red-haired girl-soul ran out to meet her. She took Ilya Muromets by the hands and led her into the dining room. She fed and watered the hero, entreated:
- After the bread and salt, go to rest and hold. On the road, I guess I got tired!
She led me to a special room, pointed to a downy feather bed.
And Ilya, he was savvy, dexterous, noticed something was wrong. He threw the beauty girl on the featherbed, and the bed turned, overturned, and the hostess fell into a deep dungeon.
Ilya Muromets ran out of the chambers into the courtyard, found that deep dungeon, broke down the doors and released forty captives, unlucky suitors, into the white world, and locked the hostess - the fair maiden - in the underground prison tightly, firmly.
After that, he came to the fork and erased the other inscription. And he wrote a new inscription on the stone: "Two paths were cleared by the old Cossack Ilya Muromets."
I won't go to the third side. Why should I, old, lonely, rich be? Let someone young get wealth.
The old Cossack Ilya Muromets turned his horse and went to the capital city of Kiev to carry out military service, fight with enemies, stand for Great Russia and for the Russian people!
On that, the tale of the glorious, mighty hero Ilya Muromets ended.
